The Most Frequently Asked Wedding Questions

A wedding should be a happy time for the future bride and groom and for their families.

Yet, as relationships expand with blended families, numerous questions arise regarding the stages of planning a gracious and beautiful wedding.

Here are the answers to a few of the most frequently asked wedding etiquette questions:

Q. May an engagement be announced before the groom gives the bride a ring?

A. Yes. It is not necessary to have a ring to become engaged and many couples prefer to wait until the man can afford exactly the ring he wants for his bride.

 Q. When a man's fiancée lives in another city, may his parents give an engagement party to introduce her to their friends?

A. Yes, but it should take place after the announcement and after any party the bride's family might give in their city. In other words, it is the privilege of the bride's family to make the first announcement and celebration.

 Q. How far in advance of the wedding are invitations sent?

A. Four to six weeks beforehand for a large wedding or up to 14 days before for a simpler wedding

 Q. How is the total number of invitations divided between the bride's family and the groom's?

A. They should be divided evenly. If the groom lives far away and cannot use his share, his mother should tell the bride's mother how many of her invitations will be unused and therefore available to the bride's side.

 Q. Are children automatically included in a wedding invitation?

A. If the invitation is addressed to you and your spouse or partner, your hosts intend for just the two of you to attend; if you have children, they are not invited. Take no offense, as the decision is a common one for couples in the light of budgetary constraints, venue limitations, or simply it may not be a child-oriented event.

 Q.  Who escorts the bride if she has no father?

A. An older brother, an uncle or a godfather are first choices. If she has no relatives a close family friend may serve.

 Q. Should the bride's mother and the groom's mother wear the same length and style of dress?

A. Since they will stand together in the receiving line or during the photo opportunities, it will make a more pleasing picture if they wear a dress similar in type.

 Q. What is a bachelors' dinner?

A. It is a party for the groom and his attendants held a week or so before the wedding and given either by the ushers or the groom's father. Traditionally it was a wild party to mark the end of the groom's bachelorhood, but more often it is just a get-together with good food, good drinks, good friends, some jokes and some reminiscences.

 Q. What is the order for dancing at the reception?

A. The bride and groom always dance first together. The groom's father usually cuts in and the groom asks the bride's mother to dance. The bride's father dances with her next, her father-in- law cuts in on her mother, and the groom asks his own mother to dance. The precise order is not important so long as each of the principal men dances with the bride and the mothers first.     

 Q. Are printed thank-you cards an acceptable way of acknowledging wedding presents?

A. Only if a personal message is added. The truly correct thank-you is a personal handwritten note which is more appropriately written on the bride's own stationery.