Mind the red flags

A wealthy businessman was approached by the officers of a civic organization soliciting a significant donation to a community project. The representatives presented a proposal stating the urgent need for funding. After going through their presentation, the businessman turned solemn and responded: “I understand that you know I am capable of giving you one million pesos for your project. Yes, I run a successful business and display all the signs of affluence; however, there are many things you do not know.” This got all the officers fully alert, and they listened very carefully to what the businessman was saying.

“Did you know my father is in an expensive retirement home” which made the officers uncomfortable and nervous, and they said they did not know. “Did you also know that he passed away; he had no life insurance to support his family of four children and their mother?” The officers apologized, saying they did not know.

The wealthy businessman continued: “My son is deeply religious and has gone to do ministry work. He earns barely enough to support himself and his family?”

By this time, every officer of the civic club was embarrassed and had to confess they did not know what the businessman was going through. He finally dismissed them, saying, “Well then, if I don’t give any of them a single cent, why do you think I’ll give anything to you?”

Now that is a red flag. This wealthy person is confident about his stature and ability to create wealth but needs the capacity and competence to provide empathy and help to those in need. Our inability to distinguish between confidence and competence had caused many regrettable problems that may have been avoided had we paid heed to red flags along the way.

I see the same thing happening in the speaking and training industry. Clients have expressed regret and frustration in soliciting the services of highly confident personalities failing to deliver the promised results. The seldom-spoken rule is that you and I should get better at spotting incompetence by not falling for people who self-promote and show off when they lack the talents to back it up. That is a red flag.

Similarly, in terms of leadership dynamics, there are red flags that one should seriously look at in consideration for promotions or assignments and, when ignored, would bring disastrous results.

Red flag 1: Exaggerated competence

Consider the Dunning-Kruger effect that occurs when a person’s lack of knowledge and skills in a certain area causes them to overestimate their competence. In our Level Up Leadership Training, we would have participants conduct a self-assessment of their leadership abilities at the start of the program. Then we would hand them the same assessment forms and have them re-do the assessment. Now that they have been trained on leadership principles, evaluated case studies, and to their surprise, many would see that their self-estimate on themselves were overblown in light of the knowledge they have acquired through the training. As Socrates noted, you need to have some knowledge to know what you don’t know.

Red flag 2: Craving for recognition, validation and approval

All individuals desire appreciation and acceptance from others, but insecure egotists crave it more intensely. These individuals possess a strong need for validation and often boast of gaining the approval of others, which reinforces their distorted self-image. They struggle to believe their delusions of grandeur, so they rely on external validation to feel validated. Social media algorithms and their nudges have amplified this phenomenon prompting book author Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic to call this “the democratization of digital narcissism,” encouraging everyone to act like insecure narcissists.

Red flag 3: Fake it till they make it

These people emulate other men or women, so by being overconfident, they mimic, copy, and imitate the ones they admire and fake competence by showing confidence but do not have the talents or skills to back it up. By “image management,” they can trick people into thinking that they are as intelligent and talented.

Style should not matter as much as substance. Sometimes the genuinely confident ones are shy and quiet about what they can do. They may even be in doubt that they are qualified for the job. The term for this is called “impostor syndrome.” But knowing the red flags should make us aware that we should not be swayed by image and fakery, and it would be easier to build up the confidence of the truly competent ones than to live with the regret of wondering why we promoted, hired or acquired the true impostors.

(Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.)