The power of a smile

“A smile is powerful!” You’ve heard this said before.

I smile a lot, but my smiles become awkward when it’s time to have my portrait taken. I have been to a lot of pictorial sessions, but I still need a professional photographer who does not only take pictures well, but who also motivates me to give my best smile. Friends have given me tips on how to smile in front of the camera. One friend advised to show my teeth and say “Happy!” So now people beside me in a picture-taking wonder why I’m whispering “happy” just before the click of the camera.

I am fascinated by the way movie personalities and politicians smile. Take a careful look at their photos and posters. Their smiles bring out the best of their looks. And it is apparent to me that they must have taken so much time, attention and effort in polishing that smile.

I never realized that smiling is a skill that can be developed, not until I came across the book HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE by Leil Lowndes. I’ve learned then that you and I can learn how to make our smile magically different.

The old-fashioned instant grin carries no weight with today’s sophisticated crowd. Look at world leaders, negotiators and corporate giants. Not a smiling sycophant among them. Key players in all walks of life enrich their smile so that when they do break into one, it will have more potency, and the world smiles with them.

I also discovered from the book that researchers have classified dozens different types of smiles. Smiles actually range from the right rubber band of a trapped liar to the soft squishy smile of a tickled infant. Some smiles are warm while others are cold. And then there are real smiles and fake smiles. You’ve seen plenty of the latter plastered on the faces of so-called friends who say they’re “simply delighted you decided to drop by!” and of presidential candidates visiting your city who say they’re “thrilled to be in, uh…uh… what is this place again?”)

Big winners know their smile is one of their most powerful weapons, so they’ve fine-tuned it for maximum impact.

Remember that old song, “I loves ya, Honey, but yer feet’s too big?” Well, if you’re going to make it big in the business, let me say, “I loves ya, Honey, but your smile’s too quick.”’

Now here are some tips to fine-tune your smile for maximum impact:

1. A SLOW SMILE IS BETTER

A study showed that people especially women who were slower to smile in corporate life were perceived as more credible. Think history-making women like Margaret Thatcher, Indira Ghandi, Golda Meir, Madeleine Albright and other powerful women of their ilk. Not one was known for her quick smile.

2. BIG WARM SMILE IS AN ASSET

Do you know that a big, warm smile is an asset? But only when it comes a little slower, because then it has more credibility. You may want to give your clients and associates a big smile. However, train your lips to erupt more slowly. Thus your smile will appear more sincere and personalized for the recipient.

3. THE FLOODING SMILE IS POWERFUL

Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person’s face for a second. Then pause. Soak in the persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face, and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.

It’s fascinating to study people’s smiles.

I give talks almost every day of my working life, and after the talks, people approach me to have their pictures taken with me. I realized, I needed to study this whole business of smiling.

Dentists study teeth. I guess public figures like me need to study smiles. When you’re in the market for shoes, you begin to look at everyone’s feet. When you decide to change your hairstyle, you look at everyone’s haircut.

When I was manufacturing jeans, I used to look at people’s behind and I realized that was not a very nice thing to do. But studying people’s smiles is safe and interesting.

But what’s most important in fine-tuning a smile is to be honest, real and sincere. If you’re all that, your smiles will come out naturally. But of course a little practice here and there, especially during photo sessions, would also be a great help.

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