Motivation or manipulation

I have been dubbed as “The Country’s Most Sought-After Motivational Speaker.” I take this as a compliment, and I know people mean well. But truth is, I am not very comfortable with the title.

If you take the word “motivation” at face value, it looks like a compound word made up of “motive” and “action.” (Now don’t get technical with me as I am merely delivering a point.) I don’t know what people’s motives are, and I certainly cannot take action on their behalf. Thus, I am convinced that no one can motivate a person except the self.

However, you and I can inspire others to become self-motivated. So I don’t intend to motivate others; I seek to inspire them to become self-motivated.

I have been to countless sales rallies and start-of-the-year/ mid-year kick-off conferences. “Good Morning!” the emcee would shout, and the entire audience would shout back: “Good Morning!” though the event is being done in the afternoon or even in the evening. This does not make sense to me. Can’t anyone tell the difference between morning and afternoon, and morning and evening?

This attempt to “fire up” people is so last century, but audiences politely go along with the same high-volume, high energy activity that has become a cliché. They wave flags, they sing, they dance, and the leaders whip them up into a frenzy. And immediately after the last number is presented, it becomes business as usual. The intention to “motivate” people can subtly evolve into “manipulating” people.

I would rather do something else. Challenge people to think. Make the talk fun and engaging, while delivering life lessons that would make them improve the quality of their work and the quality of their lives. I think many prefer this approach, and maybe this is the reason why clients would invite me back again and again — because the talk produces visible positive results.

Author and speaker Zig Ziglar says that the word “motivation” is one that is often confused with “manipulation.” Motivation occurs when you persuade someone to take an action in his or her own best interests. Manipulation is persuading someone to take an action, which is primarily for your benefit.

Comparing motivation to manipulation is like comparing kindness to deceit. The difference is the intention of the person doing it. Motivation causes people to act out of free choice and desire, while manipulation brings about forced compliance. One is ethical and long lasting; the other is unethical and temporary.

I have learned to be cautious of people who appear “kind” but who turn out to be extremely deceitful and manipulative. I have often times found myself to be on the losing side of a business deal because I trusted the “kindness” of a person. I would rather deal with people who are loud and boisterous but are honest, sincere and truthful. Carlisle said, “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats the little man.” The value you place on people determines whether you are a motivator or a manipulator of people.

Business should be based on a win-win proposition. True motivation achieves this. But manipulation could persuade or subtly coerce someone to do something wherein only the manipulator wins at the expense of the other party. What the manipulator fails to understand is that this “win” is short-lived and temporary, and the price is prohibitive. Their greed may get them what they want, but it will rob them of what they already have.

Inspire people. This is many notches higher than just plainly motivating people. And never manipulate people. Remember the reliable biblical teaching that goes, “Do unto others as if you were the others.”

(Attend Francis Kong’s one-day life changing seminar “SUCCESS THROUGH EXCELLENCE” on Aug. 13, 2010 at the SMX Convention Center. For registration and tickets, call Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 OR 09178511115.)