Getting rid of epals

Tarpaulins bearing photos of candidates greeting their constituents “Happy fiesta” or whatever occasion are a common sight nowadays even before the actual election campaign period has begun. This type of political propaganda only appeals to the unthinking class or MT (masang tanga). The more intelligent voters will not buy this type of cheap propaganda from political epals.

The most effective way to put a stop to this cheap political stunt of traditional politicians is to give them their own dose of medicine. There are many indigenous ways to do it.

For example, by defacing the face on the tarpaulin. One need not be an artist to do it. If you bore holes to the eyes of the photo using a lighted cigarette, the subject would look like a gouge-eyed zombie. If you blacken the inner portions of the pupils of the eyes with a pentel pen, sparing the outer part, the subject will look like a cross-eyed idiot.

As part of the dirty tricks department (a.k.a. special operations) during a presidential campaign, we hired tough guys in the neighborhood to splash the big billboard of our enemy candidate with red paint. The technique is simple. They filled a thin plastic, usually used for ice candy wrapper, with red paint and hurled it at the face on the billboard. The team is composed of three per team. One is the thrower and the other two served as lookouts from both sides of the road.  We paid them handsomely from our principal’s campaign fund to buy their silence.

Traditional politicians or trapos are usually portrayed in smiling mood unless they gaff-toothed. Blacken out the two front teeth and he will appear like a smiling gorilla with missing two front teeth. Once the tarp has become the laughing stock or the butt of jokes, the politicians themselves will be the first to remove them at the first break of dawn. That’s sure as the sun rises in the east.

In a country where more people are getting hungrier by the day, such a waste of money is considered a crime against conscience. That is, if the politician has an iota of conscience left. There are many of our countrymen especially in squatter colonies in the city, who relieved themselves in makeshift comfort rooms often exposing their butts to the viewing public. Perhaps, these tarps will be put into good use as curtain to cover their asses.

Rene F. Antiga, Banilad, Mandaue City