Purity test

The Economist reports on the topic of virginity. I know, I know.  Not an economic topic, but hey, economics majors also need to read about cerebral issues like virginity.  (At the very least, the fact that I start off by referring to the Economist gives me a little bit of credibility.)

So, apparently, certain countries still utilize a virginity test for various reasons.  Indonesia, for example, requires women to undergo the test before they can enter the military. Presumably, devirginized women should not go around defending the country if they've lost it, which leads me to think of a lot of questions that may get me banned and never seeing Bali again.

Some of the more sanitary (there's a pun lurking somewhere there) ones include: What happens if they lose their virginity in the middle of servicing (oh yes) the country?   Do the non-virgins get booted out?  (I mean this in the most innocuous and legal way, like if the virgins got married.) I presume they get to stay, since they have been joined in holy matrimony.  But does that mean if losing it isn't in favor of their husband, it's a quick good bye to a life in sexy fatigue and boots? Does that mean the only other choice for military recruits is to remain chaste their whole military careers?

Sounds like the only target market of this rule would be men haters, females that have no intention of being touched by a six-foot pole. (Ten-foot? Six-inch? My idiomatic expressions go awry once in a while.)

And why should the military require it in the first place?  What special powers do virgins have that would allow them entry into the force?  Or is it the fear that non-virgins would be disruptive to the young recruits, as their training would be sidetracked by lusty women targeting them?

In Egypt, General Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi has insisted on virginity tests for prisoners.  Why?  He said that once they establish that the female prisoners were NOT virgins, then these prisoners could not accuse the prison guards of raping them.  Huh? The only thing that came to my mind was that Egyptian jail guards just got a free pass to raping their non-virgin prisoners.  The general's message was: Leave the virgins alone, but the non-virgins?  They were screwed!

In what country would logic like that fly?  Oh right, Egypt.  I guess on the basis of non-sequiturs like that, General al-Sisi was elected president of Egypt. (Now I definitely will not be allowed to enter that country.)

In South Africa, the mayor of Zulu has offered scholarships to virgins.  This was supposedly a health initiative: a way to combat the spread of HIV infection.  Uhm, Mr. Mayor, you offer me a very hard choice.  Scholarship or sex?  Scholarship or sex? Damn. There must be a way to fake that certificate of virginity that I need to submit to avail of the scholarship...

There is a socio-economic cost to requiring (virginity) test.  In Indonesia, this has reportedly discouraged women from joining the police force.  That is why only three percent of the police force is women.  And with so few women in the Indo police force, the Economist concludes that women outside the force are reluctant to report crimes of rape or domestic violence. (That is why I think our women's desks at local police stations are a good idea.)

Filipinas are luckier that way, I guess.  All they have to contend with are future mothers-in-law who are likely to be suspicious of their purity.  While that is bad enough, it's not as bad as India, where in Madhya Pradesh, district officials are reported to have forced brides-to-be to prove their virginity before they were allowed to get married.

Imagine if that were enforced here.  I would pity all these slutty non-virgins around me.  They would never be able to walk up the aisle, not ever experiencing being judged on the basis of their wedding gowns (white! the nerve!) or their thick pancake make-up or the success of their husband-landing campaign.

Pardon the cynicism.  If you were to ask me, I would prefer a purity of intention test.  If someone were to develop that, a test to check how sincere a person was in getting married, that inventor would make an absolute fortune.

(That test, I would definitely slay.)