The ethics of gift giving and receiving
Christmas gifts are freely given and should thus be freely received. Nobody has the duty nor obligation to give gifts, and, no one has the right to demand or to expect a gift. The giving of gifts should be a very personal, voluntary and spontaneous decision of the giver, not out of social pressures nor out of established obligation. Gift-giving and gift-receiving should build and strengthen relationships and not to break friendships or undermine long-term alliances and togetherness. Gifts should leave both the giver and receiver happy and not make them feel insulted or ignored.
The choice of gifts should be a result of careful thinking and a cautious matching between the personality of the recipient and the nature of the gift. For instance, if one wants to give a gift to a priest or a nun, the giver should not buy a one-year subscription of The Playboy Magazine or a calendar with semi-nude models displaying their bodies in wild abandon. One should not gift a non-Catholic with a rosary or a Santo Niño image. Or send a ham or bacon to a Muslim. That is just to overdramatize the point. The truth is there are many givers who are totally thoughtless, reckless and imprudent. Many givers do give generic gifts to all regardless of age, religion, or affiliation.
Another breach of social graces in giving gifts is the notorious recycling of Christmas gifts. In a homeowners' association, a neighbor gives everybody a fruit cake, oh, that ubiquitous fruit cake. The receiver recycled it by changing the label and giving the same to the next neighbor. Then the recycling was continued until exactly the same gift went back to the original giver. That can be taken as funny or insulting, depending on the mood of the recipients. To my mind, recyling is the worst breach of social manners. It indicates lack of concern, and shows a routinary, impulsive, and mechanical passing of things without feelings nor a semblance of respect.
The complete ritual of gift-giving requires that the giver himself, and not a messenger or a driver that should present it to the recipient, with two hands, and with eye contact with the recipient. That is why it is called '' presents'' because the giver should really present it personally. It should not be left unattended in the lobby or in the gate, acknowledged only by the guard or the receptionists. Gifts are bridges between the givers and the receivers. They cannot be delegated or sent via forwarders or commercial carriers. Gifts build and strengthen relationships and not taint nor breach the link between the giver and the recipient.
There is an important message that each gift conveys and this should not be lost in transit nor overshadowed by its creative presentation or packages, wrappers, frills, and ribbons. Every package should be accompanied with a card that contains a beautiful message, written personally by the giver, and not engraved with an electronic signature or a company seal or emblem. A gift contains a feeling, an emotion, a thought. It is not a component of a robot or a machine, devoid of affection or care. A gift is a piece of the giver's heart sent with outpouring of gentle feelings and affectionate concern. A gift has life of its own and should transmit life to the receiver as well. It is not just anything that is given out of compulsion but really something to treasure and appreciate.
As the sage said: The gift without the giver is bare. Jesus Himself is God's gift to all of us. Alleluia. And Pope Francis will give us the gift of his presence, with Mercy and Compassion. The gift and the giver both will be here. Cheers.
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