The art of spin

When Herminio Coloma leaves his job at the Malacañang communications office at the end of Noynoy Aquino's term, if he doesn't do so earlier, he will be a very different man than when he came in. And this is not said in flattery. When you serve a boss like Noynoy, whose every act and utterance needs a positive spin, you need to see a dentist right away on leaving. Lying through the teeth causes cavities.

Listen to Coloma putting a spin to a bill filed in Congress seeking to redefine the meaning of savings: "There is no such plan (for Noynoy to certify the bill as urgent) for now. You know the policy of the president. He follows what is stated in the law that allows certification only if there is an emergency." That is how the Philippine Star quoted him as saying on dzRB radio.

Of course there is no such plan. There is no need for it. The bill was filed by allies of Noynoy in a chamber dominated by even more allies. Why would Noynoy certify the bill as urgent when he knows the House of Representatives will promptly pass it faster that they can say DAP or PDAF. It is of every congressman's interest that the measure is passed without delay and hesitation.

The measure to redefine savings is badly needed by Noynoy because he has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar by the Supreme Court. Noynoy has been hijacking money from the national coffers in midyear before, by definition, it can be classified as savings, which happens at the end of a fiscal year. But Noynoy is not going to certify it because he does not want to look like he is acting with undue haste to get back to the cookie jar again.

Certifying a bill as urgent is just a formality anyway when you have a Congress eating out of the palm of your hand. Which brings us back to why congressmen are certain to act on the bill urgently even without any certification from Noynoy -- because they ultimately will become the beneficiaries of the savings they will redefine and give new meaning too.

Coloma has really grown very adept at spinning Noynoy like a top. By saying Noynoy does not certify bills as urgent unless there is a real emergency, Coloma has spun Noynoy out of the fix he was in when he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Noynoy's alibi in such an uncompromising position was that he needed the money to fast-track badly needed projects and programs. In other words, he was acting in haste.

But now the king of spin is saying that that is not how Noynoy operates. Noynoy, whose acts have just been declared unconstitutional by a unanimous vote of the Supreme Court (even his own appointees voted against him, if that means anything to his lapdogs), is a man who follows what the law says, or so Coloma asserts without the slightest trace of guilt.

Coloma is not going to say it, of course. But the truth is, Noynoy is starting to act like Marcos by making things that are illegal legal. Marcos never did anything illegal, at least technically, because everything he did always were in accordance with the law he himself created by decree. Even the kidnappings were always backstopped with some warrant or other.

The same with Noynoy in another sense. Noynoy wants to hijack money before they can be classified as savings. But because he has been shamed by the Supreme Court for doing so, and then got roundly criticized by everybody else for blaming the Supreme Court instead of owning his mistake, he now wants to redefine savings so he can go back to hijacking money again, legally, and without him appearing to be lustful and greedy.

Noynoy wants to make the hijacking of money legal. But the problem is, it will still be hijacking. It will still be hijacking because there is a proper means to get at the money. And it is called budgetting. If the money comes up short. He can ask for more by way of supplemental budgets. But that is the operative word -- budget. Hijacking has no place in a democracy.

An even bigger problem awaits the country if this hijacking gets through -- and there is no doubt that it wouldn't. The bigger problem comes with its perpetuation. Since it becomes legal, others after Noynoy can resort to it, in probably even bigger amounts, and for far more foul purposes. It is a sort of Pandora's Box that Noynoy wants to foist upon the Filipino nation.

Not only is Noynoy expected to get what he wants, his congressmen will as well. And it could not have come at a better time. The next election is just round the corner. These congressmen need to get reelected. But with the PDAF and the DAP gone -- although these have been resurrected in another form with a different name, Special Purpose Fund -- they need to be assured that their Noynoy would have the means to feast them.

And so, here is this bill now before Congress that seeks to redefine savings but which Noynoy is not certifying as urgent because he wants to follow what the law says about doing so only in emergencies. You can bet your bottom worthless peso that the bill will pass with utmost urgency, with or without any certification by Noynoy.

And that is why Coloma is so good in his job. Without Noynoy actually certifying the bill as urgent, Coloma has sent the message loud and clear to all the congressman that he wants the bill treated as urgent. And it doesn't matter if the congressmen cannot read between the lines. They want the same thing anyway. That is all that matters.

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