Etiquette for Dinner Napkins

Knowing your table manners gives you more confidence in embracing new dining experience, whether it's dinner at a fancy restaurant, job interviews over a meal or a meal at a friend's home.

The napkin is a lovely accessory at the dining table and there are definitely a few etiquette guidelines to be followed.

Guests often wonder what they should do with the table napkin once they are seated. Some ponder whether or not there is a right time to take the napkin from the table and put it on their lap. While still others are not sure where the napkin goes after a meal, on the plate or on the chair? Here are some simple guidelines to live by.

Table Setting

. Napkins are most often placed on each plate in formal place settings. The simple folds such as a square or rectangle are usually used in the most formal dining situations. Less frequently, they are rolled then folded in half and placed in an empty water glass. Sometimes utensils are wrapped inside the napkin and placed to the left of the plate.

. For informal settings, napkins may be any color or pattern, dots, floral or gingham to add color or to coordinate a theme.

. In formal table settings, the napkin should be white, ivory or a pastel color.

. In a formal setting, the napkin must be placed in the center of the service plate with the monogram, if any, facing the diner.

Start of a Meal

. In informal settings, napkins should be unfolded  and placed on the diner's lap just after sitting down to the table. The same holds true for formal restaurant dining unless a waiter unfolds it and places each napkin on the diner's lap. A diner may unfold his own napkin by himself and place it across his lap.

. In a formal or private dinner party, the napkin  remains on the table until the hostess unfolds her napkin at which time all guests should follow suit.

. It is not necessary to fully open a large napkin, just fold it in half. However, if it is a small luncheon napkin, you can completely open it.

. The napkin should remain on the lap throughout the entire meal and should be used to gently blot the mouth.

Leaving the Table

. If there is a need for the diner to leave the table in  the middle of the meal, the napkin should be loosely folded and placed to the left of the plate or on the chair's seat. However at formal dining situations the napkin is never put on the chair.

After a Meal

. After a meal, used napkins should once again be placed to the left of the plate, loosely folded. If the napkin is badly soiled for whatever reason, it should be folded with the soiled area side in to protect other table linens.

Don'ts

. Using a napkin to clean off utensils is an explicit no-no as is using it to clean eyeglasses or shades, fix make-up or blow a nose.

. Napkins should not serve as a place to deposit unwanted or disliked food.

. Never refold the napkin after a meal, just loosely fold it.

Note: Most napkins are square. Cocktail napkins are between 4 to 6 inches, tea serviettes are 10 to 12 inches, luncheon napkins 14 to 16 inches and dinner napkins are 18 to 24 inches.