Listen like a leader

One day, a conversation took place between husband and wife:

Husband: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town. Apparently, an actress just killed herself.

Wife: Oh my! Who!?

Husband: Uh, I can’t remember...I think her name was Reese or something.

Wife: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

Husband: No, it was with a knife!

You have a funny feeling this conversation is not going anywhere.

Do you know that there are a lot of conversations and discussions in the workplace that don’t get anywhere?

Effective communication is the backbone of any business or organization. Whether it’s in-person, during a “back to the office” setup, or through remote work, clear and consistent communication is essential for achieving goals and ensuring that tasks are completed successfully.

Effective communication occurs only when the sender (speaker) conveys a message clearly, and the receiver (listener) fully understands and connects with it. Often, what is mistaken as communication is merely “perceived communication,” where there is a belief that the message was understood, but accurate, effective communication is lacking. This reality leads to the famous playwright George Bernard Shaw’s quote:

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

While some people struggle with communication, the listener holds significant power in steering the conversation toward clarity. Today, I’ll focus on how the listener can play an active role in ensuring effective communication.

If you analyze your habits, you can find many ways you could be a better listener. Let me illustrate:

You check your smartphone while an employee is presenting or briefing you on a project.

You’re a manager who stays in your office, has lunch brought in and avoids informal contact with your staff.

You’re a senior manager who delivers a presentation on the company’s strategy without showing how this strategy will affect those in the room.

You’re an engineer or a technical specialist focusing more on your charts and graphs than on your audience.

You’re a salesperson who begins a meeting with a prospective client by elaborating on your product or company before asking about the client’s needs.

You jump into conversations without hearing what’s been said.

Your mind rushes ahead while others are talking to you, waiting for that pause and break from the other person’s speaking so you can insert your opinion, argument, etc.

These examples highlight what’s known as “listening lethargy,” where leaders miss understanding their audience’s perspectives. Leadership involves creating followers, which emerges when leaders actively listen and address concerns.

Artistic director Christopher Newton emphasized that mastering these levels enables one to become a committed listener:

Physical listening

This involves creating an environment conducive to open communication. Engage informally with colleagues and avoid positioning yourself in a way that signals dominance. Instead, choose seating arrangements that foster interaction. Body language plays a significant role – good posture, open arms and consistent eye contact all indicate active listening.

Mental listening

This requires full concentration on what’s being said without jumping to conclusions. Preparation is key—anticipate your audience’s thoughts and understand how to guide them from their current perspective to your desired outcome. Effective mental listening also involves building connections by drawing on others’ ideas and integrating them into your responses.

Emotional listening

This is the highest level, focusing on empathy, politeness and respect. It involves being sensitive to the feelings behind the words and recognizing the importance of showing respect and building trust. Effective listeners create an environment where others feel valued and understood. Balancing serious discussions with lighter moments also helps strengthen relationships.

The best leaders listen with an open mind in all their encounters, no matter where that information might be coming from in the corporate hierarchy. Aaron Scott, an employee from JP Morgan Chase, talked about his experiences with the CEO of the company, Jamie Dimon:

“What set Jamie apart from the rest was that he appreciates ideas; even though I was seven or more levels from the top, I would occasionally send him some idea I had that was bigger than my small department. Without fail, he would respond by thanking me and letting me know that he had passed it on to the appropriate leadership.”

Communication, including listening, should inspire action and build relationships.

Be an attentive and active listener, and you’ll be amazed at how respect from others grows in proportion to how well you communicate with them.

That’s what authentic leadership looks like – after all, great leaders know when to speak up and when just to shut up and listen!

Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.