Of epiphanies and the Epiphany

An epiphany is one of the best things that can happen to you when shadows loom over your path and your mind is as murky as the ocean on a stormy night.

 I call them “light bulb” moments, a sudden dawning, a realization of something in the clearest, brightest way. The realization hits you with such brilliance and clarity that your mind, your very being is lit up the way a dark room is when a light bulb is turned on.

An epiphany is defined as a “sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.”

To Christians, the Epiphany is the feast of the Three Kings, to whom the baby Jesus first presented himself in his human form. It dawned with such clarity on the Three Kings that the Savior was born, and they fell on their knees in praise and homage.

I was baptized a Catholic and was raised as one — not in a manner deeply steeped in rituals or rites of fear, but in reflection. There were times when clouds of doubts and a net of questions would cast a pall on my faith, but for every cloud, there would be an epiphany.

One of the most profound epiphanies of my faith took place during my first visit to the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel in 1988. Even before I kissed the ring of Pope John Paul II, just staring at all the artworks and the frescoes of Michaelangelo and Rafael and drinking in their grandeur already brought me to my knees in praise. “There is a God!” my heart and my mind chorused. For how could man be capable of such genius and expressions of beauty if there was not a God who first inspired him and gave him talent?

It was an epiphany and I would always see in works of art the mighty hand of God.

* * *

I texted yesterday Sen. Noynoy Aquino and his running mate Sen. Mar Roxas and Sen. Manny Villar and his running mate Sen. Loren Legarda about their “epiphanies” with regard to May 2010 and was 50 percent successful in getting a reply.

Sen. Noynoy Aquino, who is leading all major surveys on the presidential polls, says his epiphany came during his visit to the Carmelite sisters after his mother President Corazon Aquino’s death in August last year.

Noynoy, who told People Asia magazine he is very conscious about not appearing cocky and overconfident despite his popularity (“Ingat na ingat akong hindi maging hambog, hindi maging mayabang.”) recounts: “My epiphany came when I visited the Carmelites in Zamboanga. The questions and thoughts were settled. The final point was when I got to talk to Ate (Ballsy Cruz) the day before I made the announcement (on Sept. 9).”

So what did his Ate say that made Noynoy go for the presidency in 2010?

“Something to the effect that after discussing (the matter) with each other and the Carmelite sister that we all talked to, that they agreed that it was my duty to undertake this course.”

For Sen. Loren Legarda, who is running for the vice presidency against Sen. Mar Roxas, son of her late mother Bessie Legarda’s close friend Judy Araneta Roxas, her epiphany came during typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng. “When Ondoy and Pepeng devastated Luzon and lives were lost and agriculture destroyed, and we weren’t prepared for climate change, I realized a greater need for a green leader who understands the problem and knows how to solve it.”

But why did her awakening include running for Vice President instead of President?

“A step at a time,” she answers. “There are political realities to contend with even if I believe I can best achieve (my purpose) as President.”

* * *

Even at midlife, I am learning something new every day and am glad my life isn’t experiencing an energy crisis — light bulbs get switched on every so often, illuminating my path.

Let me share two light-bulb moments that irrevocably changed my life.

1. In college, I realized that if you go after something you love, the rest, including gainful employment, will follow. I took up Business Administration at the University of the Philippines, a quota course that was difficult to get into (as if getting into UP wasn’t hard enough). I wanted to take up Journalism but it was pre-EDSA, and those who were in Journalism were Don Quixotes. If you wanted to earn or make good money you went into business or finance. So I bravely took up Business Ad and discovered in my sophomore year that I wasn’t making any sense out of Math 100 (Calculus). It was like reading Chinese characters. My epiphany came when I flunked Math 100. It humbled me because I was a consistent honor student since prep, but it opened my eyes to the fact that I should pursue that which I was good at and enjoyed doing — writing.

Much of how I write now was molded by two legends whom I met in the first two years after I shifted from Business Ad to Journalism — the late STAR founding chairman Betty Go-Belmonte and the late STAR columnist and Journalism professor Luis D. Beltran.

I’m glad I had the epiphany in my sophomore and even influenced a batchmate (Ces Drilon, who’s mentioned this in several interviews) to likewise shift from Business to Journalism.

My epiphany illumined this truth: Follow your heart and your head will cooperate.

2. Another life-altering epiphany was when I realized I wanted to leave government service after Cory stepped down from the presidency, even if I had Civil Service eligibility and was not a political appointee. I accepted the offer of my mentor Betty Go-Belmonte to rejoin the STAR. And I haven’t looked back, for writing for the STAR opened a new world for me and gave me one of the most cherished distinctions of a writer — a by-line. In government, your work gets published, but you don’t get a by-line.

So in the week of the feast of the Three Kings or The Epiphany, this much I advise you: When you have a light-bulb moment, don’t be afraid of the light. Act while the light bulb still glows.

Happy Three Kings to all and may the joy of the Christmas season never leave your homes even when your Christmas Tree does!

(You may e-mail me at [email protected])