State of women

Thanks to a congressman, we are reminded of the state of women’s rights in this country.

The Philippines is said to be a matriarchal society, with men typically ander di saya or henpecked by their wives and dominated by the women in the household. In the traditional multigenerational Pinoy household, this means the guy’s mother, sister/s, spoiled daughter/s and possibly the mother-in-law.

A former colleague used to tell us women in the newsroom (and there are a lot of us) that what the country needs is a Man’s Day. It was a joke, of course, because every day is a Man’s Day in the Philippines.

The attitude displayed by Quezon City Rep. Bong Suntay and his male supporters is the reality in our country, where people vote overwhelmingly for misogynists and unabashed philanderers like Rodrigo Duterte and Joseph Estrada.

During the presidency of these two men who bragged about multiple families and partners and openly leered at women (they called it harmless flirting), it was common to see large gatherings of people laughing heartily at their sexist jokes that were in the same league as Suntay’s lewd fantasizing over Anne Curtis.

Given this culture, I can understand why Suntay issued that non-apology, showing that he couldn’t get what the fuss was all about. He probably never will.

A common question raised by critics of such sexist comments is whether Suntay treats the women in his family with the same gender condescension. People asked: doesn’t he have a wife, mother, sister, daughters?

To his wife’s credit, she quickly issued a public apology and distanced herself from his remarks as she asked people to spare her children from the opprobrium.

That appeal of Sheila Guevara-Suntay springs from a deep personal tragedy. Let’s hope her husband’s becoming the poster boy for DOM won’t affect Sheila’s worthy advocacy, which is mental health awareness.

She founded the non-profit YOLO by Renzo Suntay after their eldest son Renzo died by suicide at 20 years old on April 21, 2018. Sheila said she did not see the depression that drove her son to his death, and she has talked openly about her struggle to cope with her grief.

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We can only imagine the conversations at the Suntay residence when the controversy over Anne Curtis exploded.

But at least, as even the actress has pointed out, it shows how much work still lies ahead in promoting the welfare of women and girls in this country.

The controversy also made International Women’s Day last Sunday more meaningful.

Suntay was a Quezon City councilor and majority floor leader when the city passed the local Gender and Development Code and the “Bawal Bastos” ordinance, which penalized wolf-whistling, catcalling and making lewd remarks in public spaces.

The 2016 ordinance inspired the passage of Republic Act 11313, the Safe Spaces Act, which was signed in 2019 by Duterte, Suntay’s kindred spirit in sense of humor.

I’m pretty sure that this type of sense of humor – un-PC, sexist and violative of RA 11313 – is still widespread in our society, for men and women alike. For too many Filipinos, political correctness and objectification of women are alien concepts.

Where do you draw the line between humor and lewdness? Between flirting and harassment? In France, several prominent women pushed back against the #MeToo movement, saying it had gone too far and compromised traditional views on courtship and seduction. They defended men’s “freedom to pester” – a view that women’s rights advocates feared normalized sexual harassment.

As we are seeing, there are still many Pinoys who would agree with the sexist argument that if women don’t want to be leered at or hear catcalls or wolf whistles, they shouldn’t wear provocatively revealing outfits. The extreme version of this is that rape victims share part of the blame for the assault.

I’ve heard some men say that we should all lighten up and see Suntay’s attempt at naughty humor in trying to drive a point.

Suntay’s problem is that he’s no ordinary guy. Lawmakers are supposed to be gentlemen; they are described as “honorable” members of Congress in formal communication. They are on the public payroll, among the highest paid in government, and they are supposed to serve as role models for exemplary behavior.

But we shouldn’t be surprised by this sorry incident, during Women’s Month at that. We’ve been disappointed big-time by the thieving bunch in Congress, so what’s another disappointment, this time in terms of respect for women?

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CRISIS, WHAT CRISIS? When your popular arch enemy is pitching a return to courage and caring, tapang at malasakit, the last thing a President with sagging survey ratings should want is to be seen as the opposite – a weak and insensitive elitist.

That’s the image created by President Marcos in jetting off to his favorite city, New York, on the eve of the start of an unprecedented surge in pump prices in his country, and with millions of Pinoys in harm’s way in the Middle East.

The government should be on crisis mode, with all hands on deck – in the country, not abroad – beginning with the leader. Malacañang is supposed to be leading in observing austerity. Instead BBM jets off to New York on a working visit – meaning we shoulder the cost. He would pitch peace in the Middle East at the United Nations General Assembly, we’re told. Is he expecting a kumbaya session at the UNGA?

It’s not as if it’s a unique message or the UN would listen to him. And it’s not as if US President Donald Trump would give a whit even if the entire UNGA issues a statement condemning the attacks on Iran launched by the US and Israel. Trump is no UN fan; he has already pulled the plug on US funding for nearly all UN aid programs.

BBM would also reportedly push the Philippines’ bid for membership in the UN Security Council. That’s a non-permanent council seat, and we have a permanent representative to the UN for this stuff.

The timing of the junket (with no compelling reason, it’s a junket) has fueled speculation that the ailing BBM needs a medical procedure in the US, or must attend to issues related to his family’s questionable wealth, or both. Or maybe he and his wife just want to relive once again their courtship days in New York.

Meanwhile, here we are his suffering compatriots, grappling with diesel jumping by an additional P20 per liter, and having to deal with lewdness, from the streets to the halls of Congress.

You wonder about the priorities of this administration. Any consequent further slide in trust and approval ratings will be much deserved.