Love, lust and lies

Nothing awakens our Republic of Marites more than the latest scandal or cheating allegations, mostly involving men and their paramours. And the more powerful the men, the more curious the grapevine becomes.

Late last year, for instance, business circles were abuzz with reports about the wife of a former lawmaker confronting her husband’s mistress. The confrontation, according to sources, seemed to have turned violent as the victim brought the matter to authorities.

In public, husband and wife appear to be the usual perfect couple, with their family photos making magazine covers. And yet, that’s not really the case, apparently, if this whole brouhaha is to be believed.

Another chatter involves this equally disturbing talk about a government official allegedly engaged in an illicit relationship with her fellow government officer, a distinguished and powerful man.

Over in show business, a prominent showbiz couple (which includes a mestizo husband) is reportedly on the rocks because of a third party.

And then just a week ago, Bilyonaryo spilled the tea when it posted a blind item about “a long-suffering socialite wife reportedly losing sleep again as whispers swirl that her wandering bilyonaryo husband has a fresh new flame.”

Did you also hear about this wild talk about two incumbent Cabinet officials in a love affair?

How about that very visible government official who is perennially rumored to be involved with not just one but several ladies, perhaps to the disdain of his wife, whom I’m told is very mabait?

Ah, the list goes on and on. Only the people involved, however, know what’s really going on between them behind closed doors. Some of these rumors may be exaggerated and fabricated altogether but what’s certain is that such stories about philandering husbands and their paramours are daily fare in our nation of 115 million.

And yet, and yet, against this backdrop, the country turns red and romantic every Valentine’s Day, just as it did this weekend.

You see bouquets of fresh flowers on sale everywhere, especially in that busy street in Manila where prices skyrocket every Feb. 14 and the days leading up to it.

Ironically and unfortunately for some families, the rest of the year sees men back to their usual ways, taking on mistresses left and right, lying to themselves and leading double lives. And in some cases, cheating wives, too.

This is the yearly peculiar theater of the so-called Day of Love here in the Philippines, a sad and telling reality in our society today.

Survey says

Perhaps, it’s the reason that the percentage of Filipinos who are happy with their love lives are at an all-time low, based on the latest survey conducted by Social Weather Stations.

The number was at 46 percent, the lowest in over two decades, according to the survey conducted from Nov. 24 to 30, 2025 and released ahead of this year’s Valentine’s Day.

Furthermore, about 40 percent said their love lives could be happier, up by four points from 36 percent obtained in a similar poll conducted last year.

And yet, it’s strange that we remain the only country, aside from the Vatican, which is a theocratic government, that still does not have divorce.

That we refuse to legalize divorce in the Philippines isn’t a sign of respect for marriage as an institution. Instead, I dare argue, it is actually a testament to our utter disrespect for it, because we are allowing marriage to be bastardized by a system that continues to violate it.

It is precisely because marriage is sacred that we need a formal and legal way to dissolve it.

This isn’t just about philandering men though. As I said, sometimes, it’s the wives who are unfaithful.

As it is now, without divorce, the middle class navigates it through expensive annulments – which aren’t even guaranteed.

For the poor who can’t afford it, one spouse simply leaves and moves in with another partner.

Impunity

The powerful though just get away with it, which is why the rumor mills keep on churning.

But this is also why such wild and sick crimes such as those committed by Jeffrey Epstein and his cabal of billionaires happen.

Power, secrecy and moral double standards collide.

The Epstein case exposed a network protected by silence, influence and the quiet complicity of institutions that preferred to look away.
While this issue makes for another column, which I will save for another day, I just want to reiterate that it is this kind of immunity we give to people in power that allows them to get away with all the double standards.

In this sense, Valentine’s Day becomes our annual national paradox.

We celebrate love but we are not courageous enough to respect and recognize the end of it.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a sweeping call to destroy or end marriages, especially not on this so-called Day of Love, which also happens to be my birthday, whether I like it or not.

Instead, this is a commentary on why we are where we are today.

Against this backdrop, hope springs eternal, etched in my heart like a tattoo of love itself.

Because of this, I know that there’s no lack of love or romance in our country today. But may we find the courage to honor it every day, in every way.

*      *      *

Email: [email protected]. Follow her on X @eyesgonzales. Column archives at EyesWideOpen on FB.