A limited offer for a limited time

I can almost guess that when you read today’s column title, you associated the headline with something for sale, a commercial product or some online promo.

Admittedly, the phrase is quite catchy, speaks to the treasure hunter or bargain finder in all of us or our FOMO (fear of missing out). In one way the title is accurate, but the “limited offer for a limited time” is not commercial in nature.

I have noticed that a number of Filipinos have habitually been going to Japan to spend Christmas and New Year in the snow. If they have the money, why not? But why do it every year? I know of many others who haul everybody out of town to Baguio, Sagada, Bukidnon, Cebu, Boracay.

The destination is usually cool and comfy or balmy with air travel required. That’s usually the first hint. Wherever it is, it requires some travel to a destination outside the usual comfort zone.

After several years of doing the “Christmas exodus,” the program of activities has been memorized and almost predictable. Even the menu for the next week or so, as well as the Noche Buena Special.

The only disruptor would be the presentation or inclusion of a boyfriend or girlfriend to the trip. If it’s a boy it would be worthwhile writing or recording all the snarky commentary dad has to say.

If it’s a girl, watch out for mom’s silent grief over a son who has grown too fast. Pretty soon she will be singing the theme song “Sunrise, Sunset” from “Fiddler on the Roof!”

On the first year, everyone is all in on the plan, even if the itinerary is sketchy. Why turn down a free trip with free food and lodging and a family reunion to boot? The snow, the thick jackets and hoody or just chilling by the beach watching sunset and drinking margaritas or beer.

By the second year, the “invited guests” a.k.a “non-revenue” family members have lost their inhibitions and are now suggesting a different itinerary. “Snow is snow” they say and want to do more shopping and sight-seeing than chilling by the hotel fireplace or the like.

Not only that, some would even suggest a more compressed but shorter stay, like they were paying for the plane fare and hotel accommodations. I even heard of instances when boyfriends or barkadas would show up and insert themselves and their plans on the family itinerary. Suddenly it’s a trip within the trip.

All that, of course, stirs up hidden resentment, animosity towards the uninvited guests as well as the insensitive family member. Either it was because of boredom or resentment, but on the next trip, members of the family start being non-committal, non-communicative or uninterested.

They start asking why they have to stick with tradition, why go to the same destination, why be away for more than a week. Some justify their view by pointing out that they also have friends and future in-laws to honor on Christmas Day or New Year.

With the passing of time, getting people to join the Christmas trips and traditions has turned into imposition from an “old folk” who just wants to do their Christmas thing or dinner at their Mama’s.

I know someone who had to give up the annual feast because the kids opted out. Out of love and respect, the mother said they will just go on “staycation” at a nearby hotel, breaking a Christmas tradition of about 25 years.

A more “seniorly” friend was visibly confused and hurt that he had to make kulit or nag some of his kids to join their trip. Understandably, the younger generation is on autopilot mode, believing that time and life are unlimited offers for an unlimited time, thus unable to appreciate the obvious.

As I probed deeper, I actually figured out that my “seniorly” friend was like most of us Baby Boomers. We are only too aware that if you’re in your 60’s you probably have 20 to 25 years of life max.

If you’ve hit 70, you have, maybe 15 to 20 years on your longevity meter. And if you are in your 80’s, well lucky you on one hand, but on the other you are definitely at the pre-departure gate, barring the possibility you’ve had stem cell treatment!

Yes, the trips and Christmas dinners have a hidden agenda. The idea was to contain everyone in one place, not have to compete for their presence or attention, which explains the need for an out of town location.

The activities were meant to take “us” away from our addictions for IG, TikTok, Anime games, business or politics. Being together meant being able to talk more, to listen, to understand and then honestly express our feelings as little children honestly and fearlessly do with parents.

And that is what we all need to verbalize as Crosby, Stills and Nash sang in the song “ Teach Your Children”… that we simply want to give our children love, feel their love and make memories and photographs that they will someday look at and hopefully will be thankful for.

In this day and age of parents dying at their late 40s, 50s and 60s, many of us are afraid for our children and for ourselves. Afraid of not taking advantage of our present life, good health and the time God gave us to show our love for you. That is what Christmas is all about – Emmanuel, God’s love, our love among us.