What’s a cockfight or two, every now and then

Well, for veteran congressman Nicanor Briones (it’s his fifth term!), it marks the start of a fascinating new chapter in his life.

The AGAP party list member of the House was photographed by the press watching a video of a cockfight --not in his spare time, or in his private moments, but during the very first day of Congress! While his fellow members were voting for a new speaker of the House (well, it ended up still being Martin Romualdez), and while still other members were walking out of the chamber to make a political statement, and while congressional wives were trying on their new “simpler” lifestyle gowns dictated by the depressing weather and even more depressing floods, Representative Briones decided to take matters into his own hands.

A video arrived in his inbox, he clicked the link, and voila, he is now the new pariah in Congress. At the occasion of the State of the Nation address by the president, no less!

Well, the state or our nation is boring indeed. So boring that cockfights would be much more desirable. Who cares about the speakership post, these members of Congress are supposed to be there to legislate, right? And one must watch cockfights to figure out what to do with them. Right?

The nerve of these media, scoping him and procuring evidence that would tend to show him in a bad light. As Congressman Briones so righteously declaims, it was an invasion of his privacy! Oh, never mind that he’s a public officer supposed to be performing public functions in a public (and very much swarming with press) venue. When media peeks into one’s phone and what could possibly be streaming on your screen, that’s an unwarranted invasion! At least, according to the good congressman.

Congressman Briones thinks to explain all this away by confessing he is not a red-blooded sabungero. He isn’t a cockfighter, and doesn’t gamble on cocks. He doesn’t even know how to operate those cash apps! He’s so innocent. And he is so willing to face the House Ethics Committee for this tempest in a teapot.

Oh, never mind that he is a public officer or that he’s paid a salary by taxpayers to perform public duties, Who cares if he did this during the performance of his official duties, and never mind the solemnity of the occasion -his conscience is still very, very clean.

And really, it’s the fault of his nephew for sending him that link in the first place. If he hadn’t been sent that link, he would never have clicked it! Who knows what’s in those links anyway. It could be spam, it could be a scam, and yes, it could also be a cockfight video guaranteed to make you lose your membership of the powerful Commission on Appointments! These relatives!

What’s that? Apologize? Promise to do better next time? Maybe, even resign to give way to other more earnest members of the house willing to perform their functions and make the world a better place? Are you out of your freaking mind? This is the Philippines, okay?

All this media attention is “unfair”. He says he was just watching, all right? This is so not cool. And so, like all other pious members of Congress, we should all just invoke higher powers. In his own words: “pinaubuya ko na sa Diyos ang kapalaran natin” (I leave my fate to God).

So there. The matter is settled. It’s all up to God, not to you sanctimonious judgers with nothing better to do but doom scroll on your phone and react to triggering news reports and clips. Get a life. He has his.

Although, his is inside the cozy comforts of the halls of Congress, enjoying cutesy clips sent by well-meaning relatives, all the while earning a juicy salary and furiously brainstorming about how to spend the huge budget allocation for his district.

What a life, indeed. Well, that’s something to be cocky about.