Single mothers

A single mother I know works as a caregiver. Not yet 25, she already has two daughters, having fallen head over heels for a man she met within months of arriving in Manila from the provinces.

The man married her but began slapping her around and proved to be a deadbeat, spending whatever he earned on himself and his drug habit. The single mom has been forced to rely on her mother for financial help in the children’s expenses.

The single mom’s mother is a kasambahay who had hoped that her eldest daughter would go on to college in Manila after finishing high school in their province. Instead the girl fell in love, became a battered wife, and now in her third pregnancy has decided to finally dump the deadbeat (her mother hopes).

Still another mother who was left to care for her daughter when her husband began working overseas became heartbroken upon learning that the husband had found another woman abroad. One day the mother drank insecticide in front of her daughter, regretted it when the poison began taking effect, but it was too late to save her life.

Another single mother I personally know worked as a store clerk and, on the side, posed naked online for a fee. We learned about her sideline belatedly; I was told that it’s a pretty common livelihood among poor women in our country.

Such stories of struggling to juggle the responsibilities of motherhood and provide for one’s children are common among single mothers.

These are stories of hardship, often involving abuse. The road to solo parenthood is almost always paved with trauma.

An estimated 14 million women in our country are solo parents, according to a World Bank-funded study. Many of these single moms are young, just in their 20s or even in their teens, lacking in education and the capability to earn enough to give their children a comfortable life. The future is bleak and uncertain for many of them and their children.

This is why it was so appalling to learn about the candidate who wooed votes in Pasig by telling the single mothers in the audience – those he said were lonely and (he stressed twice) should still be menstruating – that he was willing to sleep with them once a year. Those interested, he said, could sign up at a nearby table.

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The bar for public service in our country has truly plummeted to unconscionable depths. I know that Pinoy humor is incorrigibly un-PC, but shouldn’t those with sufficient education at least try to elevate the quality of public discourse?

An online profile of Christian Sia says he belongs to a law firm that touts him as a CPA lawyer, with expertise in taxation and intellectual property and technology. He is supposed to be a graduate of two top schools run by religious orders. How could he think it’s OK to make fun of single mothers and menstruation? Are these joking matters in his household?

Such remarks may be expected of someone like Rodrigo Duterte, who enjoys projecting a gauche persona and is unapologetic about his sexist jokes. Having grown up on the wrong side of the tracks in Manila, I am actually used to Duterte’s type of bawdy jokes and endless cussing. He joked about rape, but I don’t recall him ever making fun of single moms and menstruation.

Sia is even supposed to be a member of the Philippine Constitution Association. As a lawyer, he must be aware of Republic Act 8972, passed way back in November 2000, known as the Solo Parents Welfare Act, which provides various forms of social protection to single parents. His remarks could encourage ridicule of solo moms.

The disgraceful “joke” and initial tepid apology for it (the audience laughed, he said) bolster the argument that Filipino voters don’t care about the academic and professional credentials of candidates because, look where the country ended up with overachievers at the helm (think Ferdinand Marcos the elder and Gloria Macapagal Arroyo).

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Such voters aren’t far off the mark in pointing out that the most sophisticated and accomplished thieves in this country belong to the educated elite. Lawyers? They study the law to know how to go around it.

This is true even in the current administration. Who are the folks behind the institutionalized plunder of the annual national budget? Who entrenched mendicancy as a key policy through unconditional dole-out programs such as AKAP or the Ayuda para sa Kapos ang Kita and its earlier version, the Aid for Individuals in Crisis Situations or AICS?

If educated candidates are like Sia, why not just vote for school dropouts who crack jokes for a living? At least the professional comedians can be entertaining.

Christian Sia is hoping to join the gang in Congress as a representative of Pasig. His expertise as a CPA lawyer can come in handy in the annual mangling of the national budget to suit lawmakers’ personal purposes at the expense of priority programs and projects, among them health care and public education.

At least the Commission on Elections has ordered Sia to explain his remarks, which could constitute a violation of Comelec rules on fair campaigning.

Women’s groups are reportedly also considering filing a criminal complaint against Sia for violation of at least two laws protecting women from various forms of harassment, discrimination and abuse.

Taking action is meant to ensure that misogyny and ridicule of solo parents won’t be normalized.