Bullying is everyone’s business

Our children are raised on stories about heroism. Whether real or fictional, these tales try to teach us to stand up for what is right, to defend those who cannot defend themselves and to treat others with kindness.

Yet how often do children see these ideals lived out in reality? Children learn from stories, but not when the world around them paints a different picture. And the reality that surrounds many of our children is one where bullies are allowed to run rampant, and where the plight of victims is ignored or even mocked.

Bullying is a problem all over the world, but it is particularly widespread in our own country. Statements by the relevant agencies have shown that in spite of the passage of the Anti-Bullying Act of 2013, the number of reported bullying cases continued to increase every year, peaking at 21,500 incidents in school year 2018-2019 – and it should be obvious that the only reason that this number declined thereafter was that the pandemic forced schools to close and go online.

Moreover, that number only reports cases that were officially reported, which undoubtedly are only a small fraction of actual cases. (Even the Department of Education has noted the difficulty of monitoring bullying cases in the school.) Alternative data show that this is just the tip of the iceberg – the Programme for International Student Assessment survey in 2018 found that approximately 65 percent of students in the Philippines reported being bullied in school, and that places the incidents in the millions, far above 21,500.

Something else to take into account is that these numbers only cover bullying in general in a school setting, and even then does not provide insight into bullying incidents specific to those most vulnerable to bullying, such as children with disabilities or neuro-divergencies. This kind of granular data will be necessary to properly calibrate any anti-bullying initiatives to help those that need it most. (According to a 2021 UNESCO report, children with disabilities are two to four times more likely to be bullied in school.) But even using the data we have at hand, we can get a sense of both the scale of the harm brought about by bullying, and the urgent need for action.

Experts have defined bullying as a form of aggression that can be direct or indirect and includes physical, verbal or psychological and relational acts, where the aggression is intentional and occurs in a relationship characterized by a power imbalance that is repeated over time.

There’s a lot to unpack here, but it’s important to start with the idea that bullying should not only be seen as being limited to physical violence. Instead, it should cover the kind of relational violence inflicted by ostracization, rumor-mongering and online trolling – all sorts of intentional aggression directed at another.

But bullying is also more complicated than mere aggression – a person that demands accountability from those in power is not a bully, a person in a heated argument with a peer is not a bully. There must be a power relationship involved.

Power doesn’t just come from physical strength. The biggest child in the room is not always going to be the bully. Instead, a power relationship is learned through repetition. When a child uses an act of aggression against another, and no one steps in – no one tells them that what they have done is wrong, then both the aggressor and the victim learn that this is acceptable behavior, part of the natural order of things. Every time these actions are repeated without censure, they reinforce this world view. This is why repeated bullying concretizes this harmful relationship and makes it so difficult for the victims to break out of the cycle of abuse.

And make no mistake about it, bullying is abuse. Whatever form it takes, the harm that it inflicts on the quality of life of a person is very real, affecting the victim’s self-esteem, social status and mental health. Whether or not some children are able to bear this harm and transform it into something positive is beside the point – every child has a right, under International and Constitutional Law, to protection from neglect, abuse and cruelty. Every child deserves freedom from the dread that bullying brings, every child deserves an environment where they can play, learn and thrive.

It is clear that something must be done, but what? The fact that bullying is a worldwide concern means that many nations have tried to find a solution, so the first step must be to take a look around and take our cues from anti-bullying initiatives that have worked. One of these is the Finnish KiVa program, which was found by a UCLA-led study to be among the world’s most effective anti-bullying programs. It was found to significantly reduce both instances of bullying and the effect of bullying on those who suffered it most frequently.

The KiVa program is distinct because it doesn’t only focus on those directly involved in bullying, but also the bystanders. It’s a whole-school community approach that includes role-playing exercises to increase the empathy of bystanders and computer simulations that encourage students to think about how they would intervene to reduce bullying.

From what I’ve seen, that community focus is key. I believe that there can be no real solution to the root causes of bullying without increasing the empathy of the community where the bullying takes place. This is especially true in schools, where peer approval is such a strong driver for action. For so long as bullies are ignored, or even celebrated, then bullying will continue. One sure way to decrease instances of bullying is to make sure that not only is it made socially unacceptable, but to make it so that ignoring bullying that is taking place becomes socially unacceptable as well.

Bullying is commonplace across the globe, but it’s a mistake to think that this is because bullying is simply a part of life that we should accept. It is a complex problem, and one that involves more than just the bully and the victim. It is a group problem, a relationship problem, and the effects are felt not just by those directly involved but by the larger community as well. A community where bullying thrives is one that is in need of fixing, and that makes addressing bullying everyone’s responsibility, and everyone’s business.