Women diplomats, my mothers

Every second week of May mothers all across the world are honored. This time of the year we pay tribute to our mothers and women who epitomize motherhood in exceptional ways. I am fortunate to grow up in a home with two mothers. Mommy, my biological mother, a retired public school teacher, nurtured my siblings and me to the awe and wonder of the literary world while Nanay, my father’s older sister, honed us in the area of culinary and home management skills.

In our 20-something life in the diplomatic service, I am tremendously blessed to have been under the wings of three remarkable lady ambassadors, who because of the power and responsibility that go with their position knew how to generously impart that same power to women like me, “the wife,” as spouses of diplomats are generally referred to.

“Congratulations and welcome to the DFA,” were the first warm words I heard from Ambassador Sonia Cataumber Brady in 2001. It came with a firm handshake at the oath-taking for new Foreign Service Officers. I apologized and said I was not the FSO but the wife. “I know, that’s why I’m welcoming you. You are now part of the DFA family,” she said with an affirming smile.

Being in corporate work with a senior management post then, the idea of being part of the DFA did not sink. It was when we moved to Hong Kong for our first assignment through our engagements with overseas Filipinos did I finally appreciate how it felt to be part of the DFA. She welcomed us again with endearing greetings and enveloped me with her warmest hug at a dinner she hosted upon our cross posting to Beijing.

Ambassador Brady instilled in me (and in other spouses for sure) the best advice ever: To “have a portable work,” to follow a passion and chart a vocation – one that a diplomat’s spouse could always bring along, anywhere they go. This led me to pursue graduate studies in language and literacy education even before virtual learning became a fad and to rekindle my first love – writing.

When not pursuing our country’s foreign policy programs as our then envoy to China, Ambassador Brady took the dual role of a gracious host at embassy parties and national day receptions. From planning, organizing, to the actual event, I witnessed how she meticulously checked the finest of china, cutlery, a refined menu to highlight Filipino cuisine, up to the flower arrangements.

Our unforgettable times were at weekend antique markets or hutong escapades, Peking operas and cultural shows or intimate dinners with the longest conversations at her residence, while Martin Nievera selections played. I am fortunate to have had that first-hand training from Ambassador Brady, which I gratefully expressed to her at the merienda y cena she hosted before we left for New York.

While in Manila for home posting, I was introduced to Ambassador Rosario G. Manalo, who needed a basic grammar and writing instructor for the newly established Helena Benitez School of Diplomacy at the Philippine Women’s University, where she is the founding dean. While most students viewed her as strict, I had the joy and privilege to know the other side of Ambassador Manalo who, during breaks from our classes, regaled me with stories about her late ambassador-husband, her children (our current DFA Secretary being one of them) and grandchildren.

On top of our school-related discussions, our conversations were always spiced with precious pieces of advice and anecdotes, some hilarious and amusing, about life in the foreign service. We the faculty and staff cherished her occasional lunch treats over home-cooked arroz a la valenciana and fried chicken. Her secretary told me she personally helped a good number of our poor students with their school expenses. An advocate of women’s rights, Ambassador Manalo steadfastly represents our country in advancing programs of CEDAW, the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women.

Her colleagues look at her as a champion of ASEAN and parallel to her robust stance on matters concerning the regional bloc is the compassion of Ambassador Elizabeth P. Buensuceso. Over dinner upon our arrival in Jakarta, Amba Beth as we fondly call her, took notice of her newly arrived officer’s terrible colds and allergies. The next thing we knew, a bag of fresh lemons and a jar of Australian honey were sent right to our hotel room with instructions on how to prepare and when to take the concoction. My heart melted at the thoughtful gesture for I knew that she was en route to the airport to catch a flight that night.

It was under Amba Beth’s guidance where I learned how it was to be empowered as a spouse in a foreign post. She almost always gave me, and the working team, carte blanche when organizing receptions and events at the Mission. As long as we had lechon veiled far away from the halal spread and a seamlessly functioning karaoke, we were good.

Amba Beth staunchly supported the undertakings of the ASEAN Women’s Circle, be they in the areas of education, children’s welfare, fundraising or cross cultural exchanges in as much as she ensured that the Mission had regular gatherings and celebrations for families.  She is proud of her Christian faith and unwavering in her commitment in supporting the education of underprivileged children through a family foundation.

In the grand scheme of pursuing our foreign policy agenda is the amazing maternal, tough on the outside, soft on the inside persona of Ambassadors Sonia, Nena and Beth. They may have had resolutely deliberated on matters of regional concerns with their colleagues, or negotiated with their counterparts on pressing global issues, but beneath their power suits rest the tenderness of a loving woman’s heart. To have been extraordinarily mothered by them is one great gift a mother like me has ever nobly received.