The woman who loved Lee Kuan Yew

In 2010, Lee Kuan Yew’s wife, Kwa Geok Choo died. It was my daughter, Veronica of Al-Jazeera who told it to me. “Singaporeans will tell you that because Lee Kuan Yew’s life was so intertwined with the woman he loved there was no way to tell his story without telling her story.

I kept the advice in mind but never really got around to fulfill the wish to know more about the woman. When he died I remembered what I failed to do five years ago. I searched the Internet about her story as the woman who loved Lee Kuan Yew.

The best tribute came from their daughter, Dr. Lee Wei. She tells the story of a touching expression of what love between a man and a woman was all about. He was speaking to his wife after she had her first stroke.

Lee Kuan Yew: ‘We have been together for most of our lives. You cannot leave me alone now. I will make your life worth living in spite of your physical handicap.’

Kwa Geok Choo: ‘That is a big promise.’

Lee Kuan Yew: ‘Have I ever let you down?’

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Here is their love story in a few paragraphs. I write this column when March, the month for women is ending. These have been excerpted from MustShareNews.

“The love story between Mr Lee Kuan Yew and his late wife, Mdm Kwa Geok Choo, is a beautiful and moving one. Their marriage lasted 63 years until Mdm Kwa succumbed to her illness in 2010.

In 2008, Mdm Kwa suffered a series of strokes which would inhibit her physical mobility. To comfort Mdm Kwa that she was an important part of his life, Mr Lee made a promise to her that he would make her life worth living.

Mr Lee readily adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate his wife. Every night without fail, Mr Lee sat by Mdm Kwa’s bed and read her favorite poems to her. As a man who was cared for all his life, the roles were reversed when he started taking care of his wife. He memorized her complicated regime of medications, comforted her and took her blood pressure daily.

Mr. Lee Kuan Yew had been engaged in politics over the years, with numerous political opponents who alleged that he is ruthless. However, his love for his wife is a very touching story — a strong testament of their love and devotion.

It was no love at first sight. When studying at Raffles College in Singapore, Mr. Lee crossed paths with Mdm. Kwa, the only female student in the prestigious school. They started out as competitors — Mdm. Kwa’s Economic Science and English results topped the cohort, with Mr. Lee’s coming in second. From an exchange of blows, a friendship grew; no discord, no concord. From competitors, they gradually became lovers.

The first separation. In September 1946, Mr. Lee made the decision to leave for England to study law. Mdm. Kwa would return to Raffles College to try to attain one of the two Queen’s Scholarships awarded annually. Only one Singaporean would be the recipient of the scholarship — this meant that if Mdm. Kwa did not win it, a three-year wait for Mr. Lee’s return would ensue.

Separation is inevitable when you’re young — you have lofty aspirations, the world is your oyster. But what would happen to your loved one? This was a dilemma young Mr. Lee faced.

On their 1946 commitment, Mr. Lee said:

I asked her whether she would wait for me until I came back three years later after being called to the Bar. Choo asked if I knew she was 2 1/2 years older than I was. I said I knew, and had considered this carefully.

I was mature for my age and most of my friends were older than me anyway. Moreover, I wanted someone my equal, not someone who was not really grown up and needed looking after, and I was not likely to find another girl who was my equal and who shared my interests. She said she would wait.

Mdm. Kwa eventually won the scholarship in June the next year, and joined Mr. Lee at Cambridge.

When Mr. Lee proposed the idea of a secret marriage, Mdm. Kwa agreed without hesitation. The alternative to a secret marriage, according to Mdm. Kwa, would be to “cohabit” or “to live in sin.”

Thus, in December 1947, the couple secretly got married at Stratford-upon-Avon, William Shakespeare’s birthplace. However, this secret marriage was kept a secret even after their parents’ death and only revealed when Mr. Lee penned his memoirs.

In 1976, Mdm. Kwa said:

I walk two steps behind my husband like a good Asian wife. Through Mr. Lee’s writings, one could tell that she was more than just a wife — she was also Mr. Lee’s confidante and advisor.

 Mdm. Kwa passed on after being bedridden for two years. A grieving Mr. Lee walked to her casket, using its frame to support his 87-year-old body. Placing a stalk of red rose on her still body, Mr. Lee bent towards his wife, reaching for her face with his right hand. He planted a kiss on her forehead, and then another.

Here’s a quote from the man himself to sum up a timeless love story:

“We have never allowed the other to feel abandoned and alone in any moment of crisis.”

She devoted herself to the role behind the scenes of being her husband’s staunchest supporter, running both the household, especially after the birth of their first son Hsien Loong in 1952, and the law firm as Mr. Lee immersed himself in politics.

Not only did her income enable him to continue in office over the years, she also put his mind at ease.

While she was often seen by Mr Lee’s side over the years at official functions and on official trips, Mr Lee said he “made a point not to discuss the formulation of policies with her, and she was scrupulous in not reading notes or faxes that were sensitive.”

As her condition deteriorated, she responded almost exclusively to Mr Lee’s voice. The constant stress of her illness, he said, was harder on him than the stresses of the political arena.

“I can’t break down. Life has got to go on. I try to busy myself, but from time to time in idle moments, my mind goes back to the happy days when we were up and about together,” Mr. Lee said.

Mr. Lee’s pain at his wife’s death in October 2010 was evident in the words of his eulogy: “Without her, I would be a different man, with a different life. She devoted herself to me and our children. She was always there when I needed her.”