Mortal
Just a thought that someone I know has passed away creates a tinge in my senses. Tongue in cheek but it would always remind me when my turn comes. While I'm nearing to it, how would I journey to such life's inevitable episode? Yes, I cannot ignore nor escape from it. And I will not.
When I received a text message that Pyke, my theater artist friend and a former associate in one of my major theatrical productions, has passed away, I regarded it as a another major loss to my artistic world. I started going over some pictures years back with him and I realized that there are already five of them who were part of the "Ang Tawo" productions who have left this mortal world. Pictures reflect shared memories that are difficult to forget. These are memories that would bring back meaningful pasts.
We usually regard death of a significant someone as an upsetting and fear-provoking phenomenon. But this would also remind us that we all pass this world sooner or later. And we don't even know how and when.
When my father died of cancer in 2002, it was difficult for us all in the family to accept. He has battled the blight for a year. His death brought us all in the family together. The coming of family members who are outside the country is indeed a chance for unity. But this was something temporary because after the interment, the feeling of being afar and the longing for each other has crept once more.
And when we lost our baby Dayon, it was also another pain. I was battling with so much pain as my husband and I waited for him for so many years. We cannot imagine that his coming out to the world, we can't hear his cries anymore. Dayon died with some congenital abnormalities. During that time it was so hard for us to accept that we cannot anymore feel his naughtiness just like when he was still in my womb.
But all these pains have passed. And when every All Souls' Day, the memories came alive as if those were just yesterday. Visiting their tombs reminds me as a daughter and a mother. How I wish I have experienced these two roles with them at one time. I want to be a daughter and a mother once again. But things have changed. I cannot anymore be a daughter to my Papa Francisco and a mother to Bebe Dayon. Both of them have taught me a very important lesson in life. That life is full of memories. And that life is about letting go. That the physical body on earth is worth living but it has an end. Making the most while these wonderful people are around is what makes life worth bearing.
All Souls' Day reminds us of our mortality. The zeal will all come to an end. But like in a race, ending one's life with a strong impact is worth remembering. Papa Francisco left a mark full of hard work and struggles. And Bebe Dayon left me a life worth living for. I may not have the chance anymore to show my nurturing instincts to them but I am doing it to others. And I have accomplished it really well.
Crossing from this life into eternal life would be a wonderful journey that each one of us would experience. The death of my loved ones is the birth of realization to love again, to love more and to continue loving. Yes it is the end of the physical body but it is also the beginning of treasuring wonderful memories.
I made jokes with other family members that I have seen and felt some manifestations that death is coming. Truth is, when it really comes, I feel scared and sad for them. But when our Creator calls me, at any rate, I already have some good memories with them that are worth treasuring for.
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