Masculinity and femininity

I'm afraid I'm treading on dangerous ground here. It's a very delicate topic, especially nowadays when the sensitivity of a good number of people has grown thin and volatile.

My previous forays into this topic has invariably elicited strong reactions, often leading to acrimonious and bitter discussions that deteriorated to ad hominems, complete with bitchy tones, and abandoning the objective aspects of the issue at hand.

It's a pity because I always hold that no matter how different and conflicting our views are, or how wrong we feel the other party is, we are always bound to be together and obliged to love one another. Charity, we have to remember, is always above whatever differences and conflicts we may have among ourselves.

We just have to sort out the differences, slowly, prudently and charitably, in the effort to arrive at the real and ultimate truth about certain matters that should be good for all of us. Certain truths are of an absolute and universal nature. Others can be open to opinions and preferences.

What provoked this particular column was the news item about a recent study done somewhere abroad that concluded that the brains of men and women are hardwired differently.

Thus, it says, men are found with greater spatial skills, while women with greater verbal skills. Since I'm no expert in this field, I leave the technical analysis of this study to those who are better equipped and trained to assess the details.

The study, by the way, is still in the pioneering stage, and so it is still in need of review and critique by respective peers, experts and professional scientists. Offhand, what I can say is that it merely reinforces the obvious-that a human person is either male or female, with differences not only in genitals, hormonal make-up, body structure, etc., but also in character, temperament, ways, manners, etc.

That much, the Bible already told us since time immemorial. "God created man to his image. To the image of God he created him, male and female he created them." (Gen 1,27)

The passage tells us that both man and woman have been created in God's image, and are therefore equal but different from each other. We need to emphasize both the fundamental equality and difference between the two so we can always be true to our nature.

The difference is meant to generate the dynamics of complementarity, not isolationism and self-centeredness, so as to attain and maintain the ideal of equality and mutual growth and development. We should always reinforce this difference, but orienting it towards complementarity.

But we should also remember that the basic equality is not meant to erase the difference between the two such that we may think that the ideal human person is neither male nor female, or that the ideal human person is both at the same time male and female.

This latter thinking now seems to be verified when a news item reported that a good number of young Americans enrolling in the universities recently have left unanswered the question regarding their sex or gender. It's as if they want to say, "Go, figure…"

This, for sure, is one of the signs of the times challenging us to find ways of how to handle this predicament. We need to be more aware now of our duty to reinforce in a more explicit way the masculinity and femininity of everyone, doing it rationally, prudently and charitably.

The public discussion on this topic should be ongoing since circumstances change, mentalities and attitudes shift; we need to know which in this issue is essential and should not change, and which are the incidentals that can change.

What makes for manliness and what makes for womanliness should now be more articulated since a lot of confusion is descending on us these days. Nowadays we can see a lot of men who are effeminate, and also women who are mannish. And many times with their same-sex partners. We cannot ignore this development anymore.

In more developed countries, the corresponding ideologies and systems are already forming and are exerting tremendous influence on the populace, especially the young and impressionable ones. It's clear that this issue cannot anymore be taken for granted.

But for sure, the discussion and exchanges of views should be done properly. We need to be watchful with our words, tone and sense of timing. Life, as we know, always involves some struggle, but hopefully it is a struggle in truth and charity, pursued in love and respect for one another regardless…

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