Pardoned – humbled – challenged

Those three words sums up what the year 2013 was for me.

During our Sunday service a few weeks ago, one of the pastors asked us to reflect on the year that was and what for each of us was something we were most thankful for to God. Then we were instructed to share it with someone we knew or someone we were next to. As my daughter and I began recalling the “material world experiences”, I quickly interrupted by emphasizing that this time it was not just about toys, trips, or answered requests.

My daughter reached out, placed her palm on my chest and said: “ In that case, I thank God that you survived your operation”. I felt as if someone had woke me up to tell me that the dream was not a dream but reality. It never occurred to me that my double angioplasty was the first real threat and “major scare” for my daughter. That moment of suggested “thanksgiving” suddenly became a sharp reminder that this year, I nearly had a major heart attack, that I had undergone a “procedure” that I treated too lightly, and that I was pardoned and given a second life. In God’s courtroom, no dice are thrown, no raffles drawn, only decisions and this year I was given a new lease on life.

Interestingly, I met many people who mark 2013 as the year when they got “a new lease on life”. So many of them were from Tacloban, people who lost their hard earned possessions, whose businesses were ransacked, homes looted, and then abandoned by people they were counting on. But now they hardly talk about “stuff”. They know only too well that they too were “pardoned”; they too got a second lease on life. Yes that alone gives me much to be thankful for to God.

*      *      *

When I reflect on the word “Humbled” I realize that many people associate it with overwhelming experience as in how nature, human frailty, or disease can show us that there are situations beyond our control and sometimes beyond our comprehension. Sometimes we are “humbled” when given public recognition for our efforts by a highly respected organization or body representing our “peers”. I did not receive any awards because I never dedicated myself to work worthy of recognition by my supposed “peers”. The fact is I dabble in so many things that I’ve never been officially part of anything so I don’t have an official set of peers.

As humongous and devastating as Yolanda or Haiyan was, humbling was never a word I associated with it. I have a couple of adjectives and cuss words for that dog in heat but “Humbled” is not one of them. Typhoons and earthquakes and mother nature’s PMS all fall under the category of “pain” just differing in exponents and fractions.

For me, “Humbled” came in a totally different and unexpected way. Without going through details suffice it to say that 2013 was also a year of many unexpected favors and blessings. It actually got to the point when some people close to me began to take notice, even comment that some of the things coming my way were clearly “the favor of God”. Believe it or not, when you’re not used to this sort thing happening in your life, you initially relish and rejoice in the moment but it can sometimes raise the hair on your neck or cause you to seriously wonder “why”. Some people actually worry about “payback” or the exchange.

I spent all my energy sincerely dwelling on the why, but blocking out unfounded fears or notions of payback or exchange. God is not a schizophrenic entity or cosmic trader of good and bad. No he is not the cosmic killjoy.

During that particular season of favor, I came to learn that when God said we were made in his image and likeness, he actually meant it. Our good and loving attributes are but a scent; a molecule of the goodness and loving that is God. So if we who are “evil” know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” God also often expressed verbally and divinely how he was pleased with his people, King David, Jesus, Mary etc. The fact is God continues to do so, for people who can, or do believe it. I experienced and learned what it’s like when God says “wala lang, natutuwa ako sa iyo” or “It gives me pleasure to bless you”.

I learned that it’s never about what you do, how good you are or how much you give, because let’s face it you can never “out good” or “out give” God. It’s all about having a real relationship. You have to go back to the uncomplicated mind of a boy to understand how humbling it is to learn that your “father” is pleased with you.

*      *      *

All this challenged me to radically change my lifestyle, my spiritual walk and my mindset. It was not just about losing 20 pounds and changing wardrobe, I had to reject my culturally acquired taste buds and replace them with something that would give me a good yet enjoyable dining choices.

“Being good or godly” was not an acceptable standard, I had to do good for others and share God’s great plan for all beyond the stereotype of evangelization. People had to see God’s handiwork and God’s love in the person of Cito. Finally, it challenged me to stop being the politically correct, polite “Christian”, diplomatic individual. Yes I walk in God’s love but there is also God’s wrath reserved for those who are wicked, who are evil and choose to distort the truth.

Yes 2013 was quite an experience and it gave me enough experience to have a plan, to be prepared, and to be engaged. To all of you: Go with God in 2014 and may this be the year when God says to you: “ Wala lang, natutuwa ako sa iyo eh”. God Bless you.

*      *      *

E-mail: utalk2ctalk@gmail.com