Cleaning out the closet

There were many things to be jubilant about the published life story of the mayor of Leyte town in Leyte Province, Arnold James Ysidoro, but there was also a slight wrinkle.

Not only is he out of the closet as a openly gay man, Mayor Ysidoro also did not bother to hide his sexuality, despite the fact he is steeped in the dirty world of politics, born and bred as he was in a political family, with father Romeo Ysidoro formerly occupying his post, and brother Armando likewise filling in the seat during Arnold's 'gap years' (after three straight terms as mayor).   Arnold James chose to ran with his sexuality out in the fore, expecting fully well he was going to be bashed by political opponents, and indeed, experiencing being bludgeoned by his 'gayhood ' as a convenient weapon.

One may think that's oxymoronic, that a person is out of the closet and yet, he still attempts to hide his sexuality, but that confusion only arises if one holds the belief that coming out is a one time event that forever stamps the word 'gay' on the forehead.  But as many gay men and women have realized, coming out can be a daily choice.  It's a continuing process, which a gay person constantly confronts and experiences as he makes his way through life.

What to wear, what to say, what to do.  There's a conventional path, and then there are many colorful side roads and alleys one can take if one is gay.   The choice is made constantly, and for one in politics, the incentive to hide is doubled.  Quintupled.  So a gay candidate can choose to be openly gay to his close friends only, and not come out as gay to his family who has a stake in the political arena (Exhibit A, a friend running for Vice Mayor in a seaside town in Luzon).

Or, a candidate can be openly gay to his close friends and his family, but not to his constituents, as the fear is, the risk of losing, with sexuality as an issue, is magnified beyond quantification.  (Exhibit B, another friend who ran for Congress).  Or, openness can come with some people, and not with others, and it becomes frustrating having to navigate each person's closet choices that one just learns to shut up about other people and not confirm sexual preferences. (Yes, that's what I learned.)

But not Arnold James.  He has already served for four terms as mayor, and is running for a fifth, with his constituents apparently happy to keep on electing him to his post.  So we don't have to look wistfully at Iceland, where Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdarduttir has just completed her tour of duty, or at South Africa, where Edward Cameron, Justice of the Supreme Court, dispenses justice.  We have gay leaders right here who have not been afraid to confront their own fears.

But that's not all.  It is heartwarming to realize that Arnold James is even discussing his relationships.  While it could have been a perfectly acceptable avenue for him to shut up and refuse to talk about his love life, and I would have supported this choice if he had made it, Arnold James apparently opened up about how many serious relationships he's had, and how long they lasted.

Some may frown, and critique this openness, but I think his fearlessness is refreshing.  Whether it's correct to let the press and the public in, into that part of any person's life, is a matter of debate.  One might take the position that the public shouldn't be invited into the bedroom, but this mayor has done so willingly.  In so doing, Mayor Ysidoro opened more doors not just for himself, but for others who have been too hesitant, timid, or even paranoid.

Yes, he could have also opened the door to enemies and malicious journalists eager to dig in and interview his exes, hoping to flush out dirt and angling to fish out fetishes or kinkiness or tawdry details.  But despite that risk, this mayor is telling the world, “I don't care, bring it on.” How many gay people can comfortably say that?

However, his published view on marriage makes me pause.  Mayor Ysidoro is reported as not subscribing to gay marriage, and is quoted by the Inquirer as saying: “That kind of relationship does not last anyway.”

I will take the easy way out, and blame the writer.  The writer could have delved into this topic and drawn out how the temporary nature of gay relationships (assuming this is the case) should impact on the decision to allow other gay people to make this life choice.  Or the writer could have explored the Mayor's factual basis for his conclusion.  Or the writer could have probed into whether the failure of the Mayor's previous relationships had led to this pessimism. (See, you invite this nasty line of inquiry when you open the door to your relationships).

Meanwhile, Ysidoro is a gay person to support, to vote for, and to fete.  Refining his views?  That can come later.