Relationship rather than preaching

Limited air-time dictates brevity, but the need for brevity is not license to simplify what is complex. Last week a number of talk show hosts commented on a recent survey that claims the reason “Catholics” are leaving the church is because of ineffective or boring homilies or too much politics in the pulpit.

I suppose that’s the conclusion people will arrive at if all they do is rely on a random survey and statistical data. Shallow work will produce shallow opinions especially when brevity and volume of variety is used as the standard of work.

Having done at least 1,500 one on one interviews on “Straight Talk” during my days with ABS CBN/ANC, I think I have enough experience to state that when you catch people unexpectedly and ask them a probing question such as “Why did you leave the Catholic Church?” human nature causes people to find fault or blame others instinctively. In our highly “religious” society there is still a stigma attached to “leaving” one’s church and so the reaction will be to go: “It’s their fault.”

Survey questions don’t force people to go deep, wide and honest regarding such issues, particularly about their own faults, their own fears or their contribution to the problem. The answers are as predictable as what you get when you buy from the “drive thru.”

To claim that people leave the Catholic Church because of “boring homilies” over simplifies matters and effectively lays the blame on the Catholic Church. Such claims or results will do more harm to people instead of providing the right answers. Boring homilies and boring speakers are democratically spread through society. If “boring” were an actual category for leaving the room or walking out of church, I think it would be safe to say that we would have fewer politicians, guest speakers, as well as teachers and professors.

What makes me wonder about the alleged survey is to what purpose it serves? And whose purpose it serves? The group that has the most to gain from such a survey would be the very subject of the survey, which is the Catholic Church. If people are leaving the church, I’m sure church leaders would find it useful to know why and what to do about it. But the truth of the matter is the church does not need the service of some local survey firm. All they have to do is watch, learn and listen from their new head, Pope Francis. Not only is he refreshing, he is in touch, aware and candid about the causes.

Another group that may benefit from such a survey would be “other” religious groups that may want to avoid creating similar situations that would diminish their flock. But from the looks of it, no religious or commercial group has stepped up to claim or admit that they’re the clients for the alleged survey.

So if it’s not the church, or other churches, and if it’s not some NGO or business group, is it really possible that the survey results is all part of a clandestine black ops group bent on discrediting the Catholic church in order to diminish it’s influence on the outcome of the May elections?

Judging from the way government officials and propagandists have been behaving ever since the campaign began, that suspicion is beginning to become believable. Regardless of their denials, what administration spin doctors can’t deny is that the Catholic Church put up a good fight during the deliberations over the RH Bill. If anything it proved that the Catholic Church still has enough followers to make a political mark.

To trash talk the Catholic Church may embolden those who are critical of the church, but as they say for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The same trash talk will also strengthen the resolve of the pro Church people to defend the faith.

So why do people leave? My friend Mario Katigbak posed this question to me last Friday and as always my response was: people don’t just walk out and leave. People wander, wonder, seek and search. People have different needs and different situations. Some people want to experience that warm, fuzzy, tingly sensation of discovery. Others want profound explanations, revelation, and clarity. While others want application such as missions, soup kitchens, and sacrifice. Some people “hear a voice,” go through a near death experience, a medical trauma, or the loss of someone that shakes them from their “routine” and untapped calling.

No Church can be all of the above, but all of those above can be found in one or many churches. There are not enough priests, pastors, deacons, Imams, Rabbis etc. in the world to cover the global spiritual needs and expectations of human beings. People have to sort their individual situations by turning to God and not being dependent on men…or women. As our Pastor Steve Murrell always reminds us: “When you put your trust on men, you will eventually be disappointed.”

I used to have a spiritual mentor named Father Vic Labao who regularly gave me advice about life and religion until I went through a very painful and traumatic break up. It was almost equivalent to having someone die and the entire process shook me to the core, enough for me to re-evaluate who I loved and how I loved. I wandered abroad, I mourned privately, I lived the life of the prodigal son, got my act together and seven years later I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and attended Victory Christian Fellowship.

From that point on I was more than a “Sunday parishioner,” I devoured the teachings of the Bible, immersed myself in praise music, gave my tithes, put into practice what I have learned as much as what was preached to me. More importantly I slowly went through a process of shedding my faulty and fallen character. My 20-year journey has not been some mystic religious procession of spirituality or portrayed holiness. My journey has been one of building a relationship, investing on the relationship and honoring the relationship.

If you go to a house where you have no relationships, either with the homeowner or the residents, you are merely a visitor or a stranger. Either you’re family or just passing through.

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