Are you still a baby?

[Jesus] came to Nazareth where he had grown up… (Luke 4:16)

As Jesus walked the well-trodden roads of his hometown, memories of his childhood must have come rushing back to him. He must have seen himself a young boy again playing games with his neighbors as he passed by fields and empty lots. Familiar faces would have made him reminisce about lessons learned and discoveries made with his barkada. And of course, he would have remembered how Mary and Joseph took care of him and formed him to be the man that he was.

Paulo K. Tirol, a young composer of many religious hymns, has written a song that comes close to what I imagine Jesus would have experienced that day he returned to Nazareth: “I walked by a playground at sunset today / Where a boy ran around his mom and dad in the shade / Their laughter carried me back to the times that we had / And I swear I could feel / As I walked farther on / The familiar weight of your hands.”

Present and past merge as the song continues: “And I was still on that swing / Still riding my bike / Still trembling on stage / Your baby / Still scraping my knee / Still learning what’s right / Still finding my way / Your baby.” Then comes the line that most captures the message of the song: “It’s the one thing I’ll always be / Your baby.”

Many of us have idealized our youth. The expression “the good old days” betrays not just nostalgia but a gnawing need to return to simpler times. I think that many of us – me included – are always trying to go back to our childhood. As Paulo K. Tirol’s song insightfully confesses, “…though I seem grown up and gone / …deep down inside / Is the heart of a child / So eager to hear: ‘Well done.’” And not just “Well done,” but “It will be all right” and “Do not worry” and “You are safe; I am here.” Maybe, this is why many of us have idealized our youth — because then, we felt secure and loved.

Putting myself in Jesus’ sandals, I perhaps would have been tempted to just stay in Nazareth. People would have known me and my family there, and I would have known people by face if not by name.  I would have had a trade – and even clients – passed on to me by my carpenter father. If I worked well, things would go well for me also. I perhaps would never have left the safety of Nazareth to be an itinerant preacher. I would never have tried to make my way to Jerusalem where the cross was waiting for me.

But Jesus did. And when he returned to Nazareth, though memories of his childhood would have certainly tempted him to settle there, he forged ahead and announced his new mission. In front of his kababayans, he proclaimed what God had anointed him to do: to bring glad tidings to the poor, to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free (Luke 4:18).

It is very human to desire to return to our sheltered childhood, but this can also stunt our growth and infantilize our faith. We can easily end up just big babies. If we push on and leave our comfort zones, we will definitely face perilous challenges. But it is when we leave behind our being babies that we will also realize, as Jesus did, how we are truly children of God. Then we will find out how God can father and mother us in ways we never thought possible. The best way to go back is to move forward.

We are roughly a month into 2013. We have probably broken many of our New Year’s resolutions already. But today, maybe we can ask ourselves, “To what new mission is God calling me this year?”

A spiritual exercise: We can read today’s Gospel (Luke 1:1-4, 4:14-21) as Jesus using the words of Isaiah to declare his mission statement – what he is all about. Open your bible to Luke 4:16-21, then try to write your own mission statement for 2013. How can you live “a year acceptable to the Lord?” You may also want to listen to Paulo K. Tirol’s song (go to: https://soundcloud.com/paulophonic/your-baby). Close your eyes while the song plays, and hopefully, you will feel the familiar weight of God’s hands on your shoulder. Hear him say to you, “You will always be my baby. Let this truth always stay with you though you will not always feel babied by me.” Then you may want to say to yourself, “Though many times I just want to be cradled in God’s arms, God also wants me to grow up. How can I mature in his love?”

In our missions, we only have to try to fulfill what God has anointed us to do – we do not have to assure him of success. After all, many would say that Jesus on the cross, condemned by those he tried to help, abandoned by the friends he loved, was a total failure. Yet God called him not just his baby; God said to him, “You are my beloved son. In you, I am well pleased.” And after seemingly being forsaken, God raised Jesus up to sit at his right hand. When we venture out of our Nazareths and into our Jerusalems, we will tremble on stage, we will scrape our knees trying to do what is right, and many times, we will get lost before we can find our way. But that is also when we will most feel that we are indeed God’s beloved sons and daughters.

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