'Fess up

Since there was a lull before the RH bill will be taken up again, the Senator had time for reflection. After weeks of being scorned for denying and then absolving himself from seven counts of plagiarism and for his supposed arrogance and impunity — the Senator sought solace from his Spiritual Director.

Senator: Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last confession was six months ago.

Confessor: What sins have you committed my son?

Senator: I used God’s name in vain.

Confessor: How did you do that?

Senator: In a moment of panic I screamed, “Diyos ko! Nabuking tayo!”

Confessor: What’s “na-booking” my son?

Senator: “Nabuking” — to get found out.

Confessor: What got found out?

Senator: Er… that’s not important Father. The point is I used God’s name in vain.

Confessor: I think you better tell me what you used God’s name in vain for, my son.

Senator: It’s nothing Father. I just sort of “borrowed” some words from some people.

Confessor: Borrowed? As in plagiarize?

Senator: That’s exactly what Pope claimed. Called me a ”lying thief”! Said that I act like I’m above the law and Filipinos should not re-elect me!

Confessor: You stole from the Pope and he called you a lying thief?

Senator: No, no! It’s Sarah Pope. I said, why will I plagiarize her, she’s just a blogger!

Confessor: Arrogance is a sin, my son. So you plagiarized her blog?

Senator: That’s a dirty word. I acknowledged that I had several sources. Even JPE said, “Are there views on earth which were not copied from others?” Besides, if you steal from one author its plagiarism, but if you steal from many it’s research!

Confessor: You just quoted Wilson Mizner. You should attribute whenever they are not your original words, even if JPE says it’s ok. Maybe you should apologize to Ms. Pope.

Senator: But Father, what is originality but undetected plagiarism? Nothing is said that has not been said before.

Confessor: First line by Dean Inge, second by Terence. You really should stop quoting from other people and not giving them credit.

Senator: But the Internet is public domain! I did not break the law! I did not commit a sin! Besides I stole…er…borrowed from as many as six sources. Don’t tell me I need to mention all their names in my turno en contra speech. That would have taken so much time. And besides, I’m really the victim. I was called all sorts of names. They’re even inventing desecrating my name. I was the object of cyber-bullying here. They should all apologize to me! That’s why I pushed for libel to be included in the new Cybercrime Prevention Act! Now I can sue them all!

Confessor: Shhh! Calm down my son. Remember you are in the House of God. You can be heard all the way to the confessional box across the aisle. You are a Senator. Act like one. So what did you say when you were confronted?

Senator: May media ba dun Father? I acted like a Senator, or maybe more like an Associate Chief Justice. I said, “I made a blanket disclosure. I mentioned beforehand my attributions, that I had many sources, so I have admitted that. I have made a disclosure, so what’s their problem with that? They probably thought I’m trying to pass myself off as knowledgeable when in fact I’m not, supposedly. Where is the plagiarism there? They think that’s plagiarism. So come on, sue me.

I reiterated that my privilege speech is under the protection of Article 6 Section 11 of the Philippine Constitution — which states that “No member Congress shall be questioned nor be held liable in any other place for any speech or debate in the Congress or in any committee thereof.” Ehem…They were probably impressed by my knowledge of the Constitution. So what I did was perfectly legal!

Confessor: But legal is not always moral. You really should have named all your sources. No wonder they’re ridiculing you. But what’s important is that you are truly sorry and promise not to do it again, right?

Senator: …Er

Confessor: Don’t tell me you did it again so soon after Pope called you a lying thief? Didn’t you learn your lesson?

Senator: Of course I learned. That’s why I translated Robert Kennedy’s speech into Tagalog. They cannot say that it’s not original, ha. Marunong bang mag-Tagalog si Kennedy? Nagpapatawa sila. Who do they think they are? Tito, Vic and Joey?

Confessor: My son, my son. I think deep down in your heart, you know what you did was wrong. It’s still plagiarism if you translated Kennedy’s speech word for word without attribution. It’s still immoral!

Senator: Aba, who’s side are you on? Ako nga ang kakampi ng simbahan, ako pa ang immoral? Ti-next lang sa ’kin yun, malay ko kung saan galing. Maganda nga na yung hiniram kong mga salita ay binaligtad ko. Pro-RH ang sinulat nila, ginawa kong anti-RH. Smart ha?

Confessor: Oh no! As George Moore said, “Taking something from one and making it worse is plagiarism.” Hayy, for your penance, pray the Act of Contrition seven times a day for seven consecutive days.

Senator: Wow novena, ang bigat naman.

Confessor: Then, in between the Act of Contrition, read this aloud. (gives him a piece of paper).

It reads:

“Philippine copyright law is enshrined in the Intellectual Property Code of the Philippines, officially known as Republic Act No. 8293. It is partly based on US copyright law and the principles of the Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works. Plagiarism is considered a copyright infringement.”

Confession is an act of cleansing. But it will not purify the Senate of the undesirable, incompetent and unenlightened. Instead we should remember what Orson Welles once said, “Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in Senate.”

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