Family first before career

There is no success in career that can ever make up for any failure in the family. One may be highly successful as a politician or a business taipan. But if his marriage is broken or his family shattered, at the end of the day, there is no one to share his billions and his laurels. Secretary Jess Robredo perished in a plane crash because he wanted to attend his youngest daughter’s awarding ceremony in Naga City. He was a very good father and husband. President Magsaysay also figured in a fatal plane crash when he insisted on going home to Malacañang to be with his family, after an evening commencement speech in Southwestern University, in the mid-50s. Sec. Robredo and Pres. Magsaysay will always be remembered by the Filipinos, not only as good and honest public servants but above all, as excellent family men.

There is an incumbent senator, a very young man who has been touted as a presidential timber, who just had his marriage annulled. His very young pretty wife and two kids, just like him, must have experienced the trauma of separation. Another young senator from Mindanao, who was a Bar topnotcher, and a son of another senator, also had the same experience with his very beautiful young wife and kids. These two gentlemen of the Senate are brilliant, both lawyers and in the zenith of their political career. But their family troubles might have adversely affected their political future. Notwithstanding all pretensions to the contrary, our country and people are still very conservative and we are deeply committed to our Christian values.

Even former US President Bill Clinton, with all the rumors about his colorful and active sexual life, has remained married to Secretary Hillary for many reasons, aside from love, because the American people still value the institutions of marriage and family. The late President JFK, the first and only Catholic US President, took a lot of effort to project an image of a good family man. The Americans, just like the Filipinos, look up to their leaders as a behavior model, a paragon of virtue, and an epitome of solid family values. Without a family, without a spouse, and without a solid family anchor, a national leader may not have enough emotional support to make him withstand the tremendous pressures of his office. This may be the reason why there is much pressure on President Noy to get married. The nation is deeply concerned.

Without a stable family life, without a faithful spouse, a man or a woman does not have anybody whom he can truly trust and confide. Other people may just be around for their own personal agenda. They may not even share the leader’s vision and dream for the country and for the job. There is no love involved. It is just a job for them, a job that can be changed or given up. But a family is a solid support, a strong foundation for stability, a refuge that is always ready to protect and to nourish, to care for and to nurture. A person without a family is almost like a ship without an anchor. The family is also a watchtower that can provide him direction in order to avoid a shipwreck. Without a stable family, a national leader is most vulnerable to the storms and earthquakes of outrageous fortunes. 

A man or a woman who cannot even have a stable relationship in the family cannot possibly lead a nation of 100 million people. Above career, above any job, above any business or occupation, the real test of any person is his or her marriage and his family. If he or she cannot pass such test, success in career and politics will be highly questionable. If a man cannot lead his wife, what business does he have to lead the nation? If a woman cannot even manage her relationship with her mother-in-law, what competence does she have to manage the affairs of a province or a state?

President Magsaysay died while trying to be faithful to his family. Secretary Robredo perished in the process of trying to share the little success of her daughter. These were the men who could truly lead the country.

I am not imposing my values on anybody. I don’t even know what you think or what you feel. But, as for me, there is no success in career or in politics, in business or in life itself that can make up for failure in the family.