That man with a bulging pants

“Single Mom Wins P153-M Lotto Pot” — Headline. A single Dad I know wants to know the address of this single Mom.

* * *

Former Sen. and Tourism Sec. Dick Gordon has criticized the Aquino admin for spending much on advertising the tourism slogan “It’s more fun in the Philippines.”

* * *

Not to worry Sir Dick Gordon. There’s more fund in the Philippines for the “more fun” tourist come-on campaign.

* * *

Sir Dick, in case you didn’t know, is the one who erected the giant statue of Lapulapu in Luneta. Manila officials didn’t want Lapulapu there. Maybe because the Mactan fighter is not in proper attire.

* * *

Speaking of proper attire, is “barong” the proper attire for Lapulapu to make him qualified to stand near Dr. Jose Rizal in Luneta?

* * *

I read this headline in this newspaper last Sunday: “Man with huge penis stopped at airport.” The security officers, seeing the bulge in the man’s pants, thought this man was concealing a deadly weapon.

* * *

The man’s penis, according to the news, is 9.5 inches long when flaccid (meaning at peace) and 13 inches long when angry (meaning erect). The man was stopped by airport security who probably thought this man was toting a shotgun.

* * *

I was listening to Rep. Teddy Casiño being interviewed by GMA-7’s Howie Severino and I was awe-struck by the activist congressman’s solutions to the nation’s problems. I was telling myself: “Unsa kaha og ato himo’og President ning tawhana?”

* * *

E-mail from Henry Fadul: “You must have seen those wrestling matches on TV where the wrestlers try to tear each other apart. But unlike the legit boxing matches, not a drop of blood comes out from the wrestlers’ noses or any part of their faces. If you’re not surprised, I am.”

* * *

OVERHEARD. The driver of a high society matron was heard talking to a fellow driver; “Naadik na si Ma’am sa lotto oy. Sukad lang sa iyang pagdaug kaduha sa suertres... Pero matud ni Sir pasagdan ra niya kay sa magsige adtog madyongan.”