Raising a teenage son

On a rainy Friday afternoon, I sat beside another mother as we waited for the mass to start. Around us were more mothers and a few fathers. The sky was starting to get dark and we could see rain clouds above the track oval. We were seated on plastic chairs at the school’s covered courts. The place was the size of six basketball courts and was teeming with people, some of whom had to stand on the sides because there weren’t enough chairs.

My son’s high school was starting the school year with a traditional Mass of the Holy Spirit. The high school students numbering over two thousand sat in front while the parents sat at the back. From where I stayed, I could see the priests dressed in red robes, students carrying banners, and sacristans holding incense and other symbols of the Catholic Church. The atmosphere was solemn and joyful. It reminded me of the Simbang Gabi masses in the run-up to Christmas.

The school’s newsletter described the mass as a “red mass.” A Google check revealed that a red mass was traditionally celebrated for lawyers, judges, students and persons associated with the legal profession. Red is the symbol of the tongues of fire that descended upon the apostles. That was probably why the priests wore red robes. The association of the Holy Spirit with tongues was also probably why different languages were used during the part of the mass describing the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

The mass included a “missioning” where the students, teachers, school officials and staff, and parents took turns standing up and reciting a special prayer for each group. I appreciate that the school recognizes that providing education for the boys is the job not only of the school but also of the parents. How this works in daily life will vary in each family.

I had my own fears and misgivings about sending my son to a Catholic school.  I was afraid that his school would fill his head with Catholic dogma and that he would not learn to think critically. I was also afraid that he would overdose on Catholicism and turn away from it the way a lot of those educated in Catholic schools have. If I did not transfer him to another school, it was because I had no idea where that better school would be. Some parents choose home schooling as an alternative but I was certain that this teaching method was not for us.

On the first week of classes, the school organized Parents’ Day and gave the parents a chance to meet their sons’ class adviser, subject teachers, and assigned guidance counselor. We were given a booklet detailing what our sons would be studying this year and how their grades would be computed.  Each teacher spoke on his or her expectations not only from the students but also from the parents. My son’s Christian Life Education teacher requested that parents read the assigned book on Christian morality and to discuss the concepts found there with our sons. Lessons about morality start with the family, he reminded us.

Being at the Mass of the Holy Spirit was not a required activity for the parents but I guess I understand why a lot of us felt that we needed to attend it. Raising children to be decent adults is a tricky job. We need help and extra prayers. And all the gifts of the Holy Spirit: Wisdom, Understanding, Right Judgment, Courage, Knowledge, Reverence, and Wonder and Awe.

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