Hurt after death

 While many of us are surely praying that there is “life after death,” the legal battles surrounding the remains of Congressman Iggy Arroyo teaches us that there is also what I can only term as “hurt after death.” Later in this column, I will spell out what “serial emotional failures” should avoid doing to avoid leaving an inheritance of hurt!

 That unpleasant and rather scandalous state of affairs over the remains of Congressman Iggy Arroyo, once again teaches us to properly plan our estate with particular emphasis on working with real experts on the law and estate planning. Just because one is a lawmaker does not necessarily mean he fully knows the laws.

 In the case of the departed lawmaker, he reportedly decided to write out his own “last will and testament” without the benefit or counsel of a lawyer. As a result Arroyo’s one pager turned out to be full of holes that practically makes it null and void.

 The sad part in all of this, is the fact that what the Congressman may have saved by not seeking professional counsel or services, will now cost about triple if not ten times because all of the parties of interest will now have to hire their own lawyers and accountants as well as tax expert.

 In his mind, Congressman Iggy Arroyo thought that it was enough to write down his sentiments and threaten his “heirs” that anyone who contests his will, only gets $1. That might have worked if the only people coming to the table were his Xs and kids. Fortunately or unfortunately, the lawyers have been called in and that alone changes the context of things.

 Considering how ugly things got just to decide on the funeral arrangements, I think it would be safe to say, that unless cooler and proper minds step in, the extrajudicial settlement on the late Congressman’s estate will probably be a long, sordid and bitter legal battle. That doesn’t even include the mercenaries and bounty hunters who are gunning for the fabled treasures of “Jose Pidal” circa PGMA era.

 But what really grabs my attention is not the complicated and expensive legal battles or pecuniary interests of the parties involved. What I want to draw attention to is the “hurt after death” that people leave on their loved ones. Isn’t it ironic that by the time Arroyo’s remains have decomposed, those he loved the most, his children, would still be hurting not from the loss of their father but from the legal battles over property and money that won’t fill the emptiness and pain of losing a father.

 Looking back into his past as well as those of men and women who are serial failures when it comes to relationships, the first lesson is don’t get into legal or socio-religious commitments unless you are absolutely sure that you are capable of sustaining and staying in one and only one.

 In this day and age, it is frightening to discover how many immature and ignorant people old enough to be having a mid-life crisis offer such commitments, or demand such commitments just to keep a person tied down rather than lose them. The sad part is that most of them are so unhappy with themselves that they try to find happiness in others! Take your parents’ advise: Go have your head examined!

 It takes two to tango, so if you’ve already crashed and burned in one relationship, leaving people walking wounded, please don’t add a second batch to your legacy of emotional failures. If you and your new “second” or “third,” bring meaning to the phrase; “Misery loves company,” please don’t breed more, it’s not fair to innocent children and you have no right to curse kids with an inheritance of hurt and dissatisfaction.

 If you must break free of relationships with the same regularity as a snake sheds skin, at least have the decency to give your children what you want them to have while you are still alive and while no one can take it away from them. That way if any of your unhappy Xs want to contest, you can have the satisfaction of telling them why only the kids get the money and not them!

 If for some reason you are like an auto-immune disease that habitually wrecks your own domestic affairs and even your extra-marital affairs, kindly make sure that your demise brings a healthy end to all of it and does not provide even more scandal that will be intentionally shared in press conferences by your squabbling heirs and their lawyers.

Sorry if there is a tinge of contempt and mockery in my writing but the first thing rich people who can’t stay in one relationship ought to do is have their tubes tied or better yet cut! That way matters are less complicated and you don’t recreate an image and likeness of your weakness and failures.