The wisdom of Jethro

My friend was clearly at his wits end.

None of the usual stuff he knew seemed to be working. As head of the team, it was his job to lead them to success but in spite of his dedication and “service beyond the call of duty” his team seemed to be stuck in the mud.

Yes they had promise and yes they were delivering the wins, but the further they got into the battle, his young team seemed to be running out of steam. They seemed to be losing the fight, the spirit vanishing from within them.

I could see an almost “fatherly” sense of frustration in his eyes. Somehow I knew he was haunted by the thought that maybe, just maybe, he might not be doing the right thing. He was clearly confused.

Nothing could be more frustrating than to be giving it all you can and still fall short of the mark or not get the expected results. Here before me was a man who unselfishly cared for his team and turned into a lump of discouragement.

As we talked and probed, I recognized the first and most common mistake many leaders make. When things don’t work out, we instinctively try harder and push people even more. We do so because we operate on the familiar and what we know from past experiences.

When you think about it, that is where machines and “computerized” designs differ from us. If something is wrong, they immediately tell us we committed an “Error”. No amount of trying again will produce a different answer. Crazy as they say, is repeating the same mistake and expecting a different result.

In human terms we push harder through repetition, increasing an exercise or a process or simply by shouting louder and getting angrier. It takes us a while to realize that if the process failed, it simply doesn’t work or the “problem” may not be the problem.

My friend had limited his approach to what he knew, on the premise that he was dealing with a team that knew what was expected of them. He overlooked the fact that it was a new team, a young team, and a team that had never been given the go ahead to think differently or creatively. 

In other words, he remained the same even if he his team was not.

As the world around us changes in terms of technologies, relationships and expectations, we also begin to discover that the one man-team or individual leadership is slowly becoming inefficient if not extinct.

My friend was the Leader, the boss or as others call it: The Alpha Male. What he failed to realize was that even in a pack of wolves or a pride of lions, the top dog or head honcho can’t do it alone.

So I shared with him the lesson from Jethro. In case you’re a fan of NCIS, this is not about Jethro Gibbs but rather the Biblical Jethro the father-in-law of Moses who one day came to visit his now influential son-in-law.

After a few days touring the camp, Old man Jethro was dumbfounded as he watched Moses spent day-in day-out, playing arbiter or judge over the daily affairs of the Jews. From Jethro’s perspective, the whole idea was a total waste of time, energy and most importantly a waste of Moses’ leadership!

Instead of being the main man, spokesperson for GOD and CEO of the wandering Jews Incorporated, Moses was stuck on the petty, the ugly, and exhausting work of being referee.

So Jethro pulled the seniority card on Moses and told him what he thought about the whole referee-Judge affair. Then he suggested that Moses appoint wise men to take his place so he could focus on the more important business of leadership.

After hearing the story, my friend clearly realized that he was trying to feed his team stuff they no longer needed. What he did not see was that they had certain deficiencies somewhat similar to vitamin deficiencies. His team needed to see examples, go through experiences and simply live through life.

His team needed additional mentors who could add value, flavor and depth to the leadership he was already providing. Just like kids, we need variety in what we absorb, creativity in what we observe.

By doing this, we also help the individual gifting’s of those we mentor or those around us. But it is never easy to open the door or to invite other leaders into the fold. Many of us are afraid, threatened, or simply over protective of our team or our wards. Yes it is a gamble maybe even a risk, but a true leader is secure in his position.

A true leader is also one who can invite people outside the fold to add value and be part of his vision and his goal.

Yesterday, I was reminded of this story when I heard about Secretary Proceso Alcala and Chairman Francis Tolentino. Both men have regularly been featured in the news for their many activities and initiatives. One thing common to both is their single-minded leadership of the Department of Agriculture for Secretary Alcala and the MMDA for Chairman Tolentino.

I praise them for that but I also humbly remind them of Jethro’s lesson because they clearly need to raise up leaders in their midst who could and should take responsibility for an equal amount of work and responsibility.

Learn to DELEGATE.

As for the rest of us, we need to learn to invite others to add value and experience that can be given in a short period of time for less than a quarter of the cost of having to live through them. Jethro’s lesson was free, but it must have cost someone to learn it.

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