Humility a sign of strength, not weakness

It is unfortunate that Noynoy Aquino has refused to apologize to the survivors and families of the Manila bus hostage crisis, an incident that not only resulted in the senseless and unwarranted deaths of a number of Hong Kong tourists, but also projected live before a global audience how inept and inefficient the Philippines handled the crisis at the time.

 The reason Noynoy refused to apologize was because, according to him, it is wrong and unfair to blame all 95 million Filipinos for the tragedy. To Noynoy, that is what an official apology amounts to — laying the blame on the entire Filipino nation. He could not have been more wrong. Everybody knows, including the Chinese and Filipinos themselves, and every mother’s son who saw it all on TV, where the blame lies. And it is not on the Filipino people.

 Yet, if Noynoy only has a little sense of what goes on outside Malacañang, he would have seen that the entire Filipino nation — all 95 million of them whose name he now takes in vain — have long apologized to the Chinese people for the tragedy. Has Noynoy never read in the papers or saw on TV the numerous Masses, prayer rallies and other demonstrations of grief exhibited by Filipinos both here and abroad.

 The problem with Noynoy is that he considers an apology to be a sign of weakness, instead of as a manifestation of strength. To say sorry requires strength of character and dignity. An apology is not necessarily an admission of guilt, if that is what he is so worried about. An apology is an acknowledgement of something that did not turn out the way it should have.

 An apology does not have to lay blame. On the contrary, it is a means of reparation that God has chosen to gift only the humans from among all His creation. Animals do not apologize. And they are not required to. They are not civilized. They are not educated. And they do not breathe the spirit that imbues us with the inherent goodness of the Great Maker.

 By refusing to apologize, Noynoy squandered away a great opportunity to redeem a part of his image as a leader that was severely tarnished as a result of that tragic event. One would have expected that as head of the government that not only bungled its handling of the crisis but also failed to make those responsible account for the bungling, apologizing would have been the least he can do to ease the pains that continue to linger even to this day.

 For a man who has no qualms demeaning the dignity of his office by eating hotdog in some foreign sidewalk or stopping for red lights, he certainly seems too snotty not to even grant a private audience to some of the survivors and relatives of victims who came back here a year later in a vain attempt to pick up the pieces of their lives and make sense of what had happened.

 Noynoy did not have to let the media in. He has, after all, exhibited the capacity to operate in great secrecy if he wanted to, as shown by his secret talks with the MILF. And that is precisely how topsy-turvy the world of Noynoy is. While he can hold secret talks in the middle of the night in some foreign land with Moro rebels who are trying to dismember the country, he cannot grant even a few minutes of his private time in Malacañang for the victims of our national shame.

 Indeed, even if Noynoy cannot bring himself to apologize, just seeing the survivors and relatives of victims personally, even if just to hold their hands or put an arm around their shoulders would have gone a long way in telling them, even without a word spoken, that he is human too and that he shares their grief and that it is his sincere wish that they can move on, lighter with the knowledge that a part of their burden is also his.

 But Noynoy never did any of that. And that underscores the difference between him and great leaders, great presidents. Now that he walks with kings, he has lost the common touch. And just as I suspected, the sidewalk hotdog and the red light stops were all just for show, shown because it was convenient for him to do so. When things really matter, though, Noynoy is a no-show.

 It is difficult to understand why Noynoy could not see that an apology would have resulted in a lot of positive developments from an incident that relegated the Philippines to one of its lowest and darkest levels of appreciation in the community of nations. An apology would have soothed some of the pain among the afflicted, lifted part of the collective shame and guilt of Filipinos, and projected him as a man with feeling, and therefore a man of sincerity.

It is not too late for Noynoy to rectify things, however. In his coming visit to China, he can very well convey the sentiments of the entire Filipino nation about the incident. And those sentiments are nothing less than the deepest regrets and commiseration for what happened. And if an apology is what it takes to convey those sentiments, then Noynoy as president of an apologetic nation should convey those sentiments the way they are sincerely felt.