Mission impossible?

Several years ago, a research study revealed that the greatest source of happiness for us, Filipinos, is FAMILY. Very meaningful indeed. And where does family life begin but with the love-life of husband and wife! As of today, it is reported that we are the only country in the world that rejects a divorce law. Annulment is allowed, but not divorce.

An annulment is a legal or church declaration that there was no valid marriage from the beginning, due to one or more major impediments, like psychological incapacity, unsound mind, consent obtained by fraud or force, incestuous coupling, and others. On the other hand, divorce is the invalidation of a valid marriage.

Both the Church and the State fully support and protect the inviolability of marriage and the sacredness of the family as the foundation of our nation, God’s people. We are all familiar with the vows that a couple make in the presence of God, the ordaining priest, and the congregation: “Grant us, O Lord, to be one heart and soul, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Moreover, the Church’s teaching through “Familiaris Consortio” states: “The future of humanity passes by way of the family. It is therefore indispensable and urgent that every person of good will should endeavor to save and foster the values and requirements of the family.” (#86).

Our State Constitution is one of the very few in the world that has a distinct article dedicated solely on the family as the foundation of our nation, and the inviolability of marriage. For the information of all, it is worth quoting even just the first two sections of Article XV. The Family.

“Section 1. The State recognizes the Filipino family as the foundation of the nation. Accordingly, it shall strengthen its solidarity and actively promote its total development.

Section 2. Marriage, as an inviolable social institution, is the foundation of the family and shall be protected by the State.”

The Family Code of the Philippines states in Chapter 1, Art. 1: “Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.”

Once and for all, let us understand that a valid marriage is a covenant for life between two mature spouses who experience authentic love for each other. This means to love my spouse as I love myself, and vice-versa. Moreover, the couple make this covenant of love for life, not only with each other, but with their Creator-God. When lived in God’s loving presence, the couple can go through hardships, marital conflicts and crises, and still come out with an even stronger love for each other and the family than ever before. I have witnessed this time and time again in my more than forty years of experience in family ministry and marital counseling.

In his divine providence, God may precisely be missioning us as a nation to witness to other cultures all over the world that with his guidance and leadership, it is indeed possible and doable ? a country without divorce, where the marital love-triangle does not end in disaster: HUSBAND, WIFE, and GOD. As in today’s Gospel event, Christ responded to that Canaanite woman’s faith with no less than a miracle. (Mt. 15: 21-28).

This is the special mission and privilege of all our validly married Filipino couples all over the Philippines. What a unique grace and gift indeed from Almighty God. They are called by God to give their human best, not only in their own marriages and family life, but to reach out to the many, many more who are being victimized by a Westernized culture that is more and more secularistic, materialistic, narcissistic, egocentric, and Godless. In the name of self-fulfilment and progress, this high-tech culture is the greatest threat to marital and family life today. It is precisely for this reason that divorce has spread all over the world as the easy way out to marital problems.

This is definitely not God’s way, which is the law of love and compassion. This is definitely not God’s design for marital and family problems. Let us all be on God’s side. Let us all be fully committed to his ways all the way, till the end of our lives. Amen.