Change of Heart

March 2009. I told myself quite confidently that I was so sure there was no way in hell I’d be going back to school. Ever. The feeling of putting that final dot on the last essay of the last test of my very last year in school gave me a high that’s hard to explain. I still kinda get that feeling every now and then when I’d blast myself back into the past in between red traffic lights as I’d cruise along Maxilom Avenue on my way to the office early in the morning.

 I think I even did a great job at convincing my parents that going back to school was a complete waste of time because anyway, I thought, no one in the world of work would give a damn if you settled for undergrad or if you went as high as post-grad. To the everyday, average joe, I told them, the only important thing to get your life started when you’re done with school is an undergrad degree. No more, no less. Well, unless you are pining for a position in the academe.

 March 2011. Roughly 728 days after believing that I had better things to worry about than to pursue my graduate studies, I found myself ringing the University of San Carlos-Talamban Campus, asking about their MA in Psychology programs—and eventually driving to the campus to pick up my list of requirements. Add a little over a couple of months into that, and I was already sitting in my Psych214 class with 12 other classmates, eagerly taking part in our class discussion.

 The change of heart came as a welcome surprise to my parents who had always pushed me to pursue my graduate studies despite my bull-headed phase and it really wasn’t because of peer or parental pressure that I had to completely change my life’s game plan. To begin with, it wasn’t an easy decision to make because I was torn between two completely opposite views that the most important people in my life had when it came to pursuing my graduate studies.

 Some friends believed that it wasn’t only a waste of time, but that I would never end up finishing my MA owing to a very hectic schedule at work. Besides, they said, I didn’t really need it because the nature of my work offered so much theory and application to beat any MA program already. One of them was cruel enough to tell me that if I wanted a graduate studies diploma that much, she would be willing to print one out for me ASAP. 

 When you’ve drowned yourself in too much work, meeting a lot of people, some of which who have the capability of challenging you to up your ante, which some of which simply leave much to be desired, you begin to believe that there really is still so much room for you to challenge yourself all over again academically.

 I’ve always missed school since day one of my journey into the ‘real world’ because the halls of the academe offer a kind of mental challenge that is just simply incomparable. Ravaged by the real world of work, I found a need to pull myself back together, to sew my experiences into one rich tapestry, and to push the goal post even farther. This is something I believe that I will only be able to accomplish in graduate school.

 Yes, I do not need an MA degree and I will not die if I don’t get one by 2013. But I want one. This is a move that’s purely bent on getting a sense of fulfillment and a sense self-actualization more than it is about gaining an advantage in the work place. I want to feel the rush of cramming for exams again, of making a mad rush to finish projects, I want to be in the midst of what is ideal all over again. 

 Buried ten feet deep in the midst in a plethora of experiences I’ve drawn from work, it can really make one a little bit insane. I’d like to think that taking my up MA will help me to get a better grasp of what’s happening and to get a better idea of where I ought to go from here. It’s something some people just don’t seem to understand or appreciate because all they care about are big bucks bagged at the speed of light.

 I’m glad I reconsidered taking up my MA and I know I will finish it all the way into 2013—even if I have a full time job to reckon with. Hands down, this may be one of the best things I’ve ever placed my hard-earned cash into.