No toilet paper in mall restrooms?

The DOH has advised homeowners to get rid of flies. Me, I have declared my kitchen a no-fly zone. My DH is implementing this declaration.

* * *

Tom O should quit gnashing his molars in anger at Hizzoner Mike. While he’s doing that, sending his BP up beyond normal level, Mike is out there having a ball with the Guvnor.

* * *

It says here that in Heaven “there is no pain, no night, no death, no tears.” A man-about-town I know says: “Heaven is a paradise. Problem is, in Heaven there is no beer.”

* * *

The shopping malls have good CRs or restrooms. But some or most of these restrooms are incomplete. They don’t have toilet tissue. A reader said he recently had a bum stomach and was forced to relieve himself in one of these mall CRs. Since there was no tissue, he had to use his handkerchief as wipes.

* * *

The reader said he felt bad after using his hankie as wipes. “Perfumed pa ra ba to kay regalo to sa akong girlfriend.” So what did he do with the soiled hankie? “Aw, gi-flush down ko sa inodoro kay wa may trash can para sa toilet paper,” the reader said smiling.

* * *

My Cebuano friend in Manila, Leonardo “Daido” Ramos Angel, has been prodding me to bring to Mayor Mike Rama’s attention his suggestion on how to boost his tourism drive. His suggestion is for the city government to install an electronic i-pad billboard in Manila promoting the city as top tourist destination.

* * *

“The province already has such tourism booster on Roxas Blvd. near Vito Cruz,” Daido said in a text message. “Millions of people see that i-pad billboard everyday — with the face of Guv Gwen smiling. The Guvnor has beaten Hizzoner to the draw in putting up this attractive electronic billboard but it’s not too late in the day to follow suit,” Daido said.

* * *

Trivia: Christian VII of Denmark (1749-1808) ran around the palace smashing furniture and banging his head until it bled. — From Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, 2010 edition.

* * *

To WTH Jr. of Dallas, Tx: Thanks for your e-mail. Will comment on it in the next column.

* * *

Email: [email protected]