How to un-marry

What should our laws be? I’ve come across papers stating that our laws have been copied from foreign sources. The authors usually recommend changing our laws to reflect our culture. I don’t recall reading one prescribing how exactly a particular law should be changed. This would assume that we know what Filipino culture is, at least in 2011, since culture is not static.

Probably because I never stopped wondering what Filipino culture is, I spent two semesters taking anthropology electives and found myself fascinated by studies on Filipino kinship and social organization. Readings assigned in class made me want to read up on pre-Hispanic Filipino culture and on contemporary practices of Filipino indigenous peoples.

Almost always, there was a chapter on courtship, marriage, divorce, and the consequences thereof on the spouses and the children. I learned that ancient Cebuanos practiced divorce. I also learned that customary laws of some indigenous peoples recognize divorce.

In law school, one of the critiques I heard about the Family Code was that it reflected the values of urban, middle-class Catholics whose lifestyles and beliefs do not represent the lifestyles and beliefs of majority of Filipinos (poverty-stricken, living in rural areas). A lot

of the Family Code provisions have been amended since I left law school but on the whole, it remains the same.

When I read about House Bill No. 3952 filed by Bayan Muna Rep. Neri Colmenares, I got curious. He claimed that it would make annulment of marriage more accessible to the poor. He was quoted as saying that, “The bill levels the field by giving those who cannot afford long litigations, lawyers, psychiatrists the opportunity to annul their unfortunate marriage with a psychologically incapacitated spouse.”

Entitled “An Act Recognizing Spousal Violence, Infidelity and Abandonment as Presumptive Psychological Incapacity Constituting a Ground for the Annulment of Marriage,” the bill changes the manner by which psychological incapacity as a ground for nullity of marriage under Article 36 of the Family Code is proven.

Under the bill, a spouse who commits spousal violence, infidelity or abandonment of family is presumed psychologically incapacitated. When any of these circumstances are present, there would be no need for expert testimony to prove psychological incapacity.

Expectedly, Catholic religious leaders didn’t like the bill. One bishop was quoted as saying that the bill won’t help the poor as they engage in live-in arrangements anyway and don’t need annulments. He was probably right but it could because the poor people who are engaged in live-in arrangements do so because they are still married to other people and can’t marry their present partners (even if they want to) without committing a crime.

In the perfect world of the Catholic bishops and the framers of the Family Code, people who marry observe the obligations under Article 68 thereof “to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support.” When a spouse fails to do any of these, his or her partner should forgive the wrong done.

Sadly, things don’t always turn out that way. People who can afford lawyers, psychologists and psychiatrists can get another shot at this kind of marriage by getting an annulment (there is no limit as to how many times a person can avail of Article 36). Becoming a citizen of a foreign country where divorce is allowed is another option.

In one of the books about Filipino indigenous cultures I read, the divorcing spouses agreed on the return of dowry, the custody of children, and the amount of damages to be paid if one of the spouses was at fault. The goal was to ensure the welfare of all the parties and to restore peace in the communities (especially if the marital trouble involved running off with someone else’s spouse).

House Bill No. 3952 is a good starting point to discuss Filipino culture and to determine what matters most to us. Maybe we care more about ensuring the welfare of the family and peaceful relations with everyone than the rhetoric about the sanctity of marriage.

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Email: kay.malilong@gmail.com

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