Election-jeering

I don't remember elections being this nerve-wracking. And, it's not even because I want certain candidates to win - I just want some candidates to lose!

   Barring the occurrence of what naysayers have been predicting (which is that there's going to be a failure of elections), tomorrow is the big day. That's when all my vague fears and half-formed opinions will or will not matter, because that's when the rest of the country will vote for my future.

   Yes. My future is not in my hands, but in my countrymen's. As usual, I forgot to register on time. That's the only reason - despite my vocal protestations that I'm not a citizen, my disability actually only stems from the sad fact that I missed the deadline. (Yes, the pox on me for that, but not registering, like not voting, is a matter of right. Never you mind I wasn't exactly conscious about exercising any right.)

   (It's actually very convenient. Every time I'm asked who I'm going to vote for, my escape clause is, I can't! So I dodge the question, and thankfully, am not drawn into a big argument. And, having to defend my choices from fervent supporters. Unfortunately, some of these rabid fans are my friends, and so I can't freeze them with a flat stare coupled with a curt statement that 'my vote is a personal choice.' Those "butt out" responses are good only for strangers.)

   So, tomorrow's when the political futures of so many aspirants will be broken. (Big L on the losers' foreheads!). Hopefully, they stay down and never get up to haunt us ever again. And, they can take all their useless posters (what a waste of paper) with them. And we can look forward to television networks and radio airwaves free from their inane and cloying ads, and their stupid jingles.

   Not being able to vote, I will just have to stand by while my friends and countrymen go out and not choose the wrong candidates.   I'll be crossing my fingers, waiting, for example, for the message to be given the Ang Kapatiran Party, whose standard bearers just sued Trust Condoms for, what else, promoting the use of condoms.

   Trust has actor Robin Padilla out in a TV ad, hawking condoms to his fellow macho Filipinos, and for some reason, this has raised the ire of the Ang Kapatiran Party. (How do they translate it, the Brotherhood Party? Brothers of what?) Probably not having enough kapatids to tally among their roster, they could be thinking that their low membership count is due to the proliferation of birth control measures. So, they've taken action against rubbers by suing for an injunction against more of the ad being aired.

   Of course, guess where the foundation of their suit lies - the supposed powers of the state to safeguard the moral environment of its citizens, who're too delicate to be exposed to such harmful rubbish as the ad. And of course, to condoms themselves.

   At the same time, here we are being exposed to such drivel from senatorial candidates like Jo Aurea Imbong, who tell us these ads are conveying unwholesome and indecent messages, and that there are plenty of nasty subliminal ideas embedded in these ads. Imbong is also incensed about this product he saw at a convenience store, the "Premiere Earthquake O-Ring," which supposedly came with a free condom. (I can pretty much guess what the "O" stands for".) Imbong demands to know what they're doing in stores like those - and I guess the fact that they're called "convenience" stores has not yet hit him.

   I have no fear that an astute judge will immediately see the threat to freedom of speech that this suit brings.   But meanwhile, the brotherhood has just told us it is willing to use the judiciary and kill free speech just to achieve its ends. I wonder if they're the ones who should be sued instead. Maybe what the country needs is an injunction to stop them from further harming our intelligence.

Some more things to hope for in these darn elections. That a candidate who is serious about not sucking this country dry wins. Doesn't even have to be completely corrupt-free, all he has to possess is moderate greed. Maybe sensitive enough to stay away from million peso dinners at Le Cirque. And gay-friendly would be nice too. My wish list is pretty simple.