Because of Chinkee's book

We all have a bias, some stronger than others.

If you happen to be above 50 years old, like me, or someone with dual citizenship status (a Filipino citizen who is also a Senior citizen), chances are you will not be inclined to listen to the advice of people half your age.

If that’s not enough, you will probably have second thoughts about buying and reading a book written by a local author who we generally refer to as “wet behind the ears”.

Recently I made a decision to fight my bias towards young “whipper snappers” bold enough to write a book about financial wisdom. For someone who’s not much of a reader this was harder than cleaning the latrine.

The challenge came my way when my friend Chinkee Tan sent me a copy of his latest book: For Richer For Poorer which I quickly placed by the stairway, until I could find a place to hide it or until it fell into the “Shark Tank” by accident.

So shoot me! That’s why I started with “bias” remember? Well the book never fell in the tank. To top it all, Chinkee must have realized that he sent me an unsigned copy so he sent me a second copy again.

As they say I was forced to “good”. I have been reading/glancing through the book in the last two months and for me, some of the chapters have been quite thought provoking. Allow me to show you.

The book is about personal wealth but a story in chapter 14 triggered a cascade of thoughts about how our bias and our being judgmental prevent us from understanding or accepting others.

“Once upon a time there was this group of frogs, traveling through the woods. Two frogs fell into a deep pit. The other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead.

Finally, one of the frogs gave in to what the other frogs were saying, and gave up. He dropped to the ground and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.

 He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The other frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.”

Bingi pala.

As I said that to myself, I remembered how many people criticize Dick Gordon and Bayani Fernando as people who don’t listen to others when it comes to opinions and solutions. I also remembered how many of us labeled Loren Legarda as a “Political prostitute” for switching political parties.

I now realize that these people are successful because they decided not to follow the crabs as well as the frogs. Dick Gordon would have remained a “Mama’s boy” under the shadow of a very strong willed Amelia Gordon. Gordon would never have made it as Mayor or the youngest Constitutional Convention delegate.

If Dick Gordon listened to Imperial Manila and its political overlords, Subic naval base would have been ransacked, denuded and abandoned. If Gordon listened to the so-call political experts, he would not have become Senator Richard Gordon.

In the same breath, If Bayani Fernando listened to the nay sayers who questioned how “a lowly mayor from a very provincial town” could be allowed to be the “Boss of all bosses” in Metro Manila, the successful legacy and political will of “BF” would have been lost to the say so of the crabs and the frogs.

If Bayani Fernando listened to his critics in media and political opportunists who always piggybacked on Bayani Fernando by criticizing his efforts and policies, we would all be stuck in traffic and squatters.

They are not perfect in their policies and even in their solutions but they are determined men who did what needed to be done. In hindsight because “bingi sila” or being intentionally deaf, allowed them to make a difference free of interference.

As for Loren Legarda, well, many of us have always had something critical to say about her. That she’s too ambitious, that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants, that she’s this and she’s that.

I now realize that Loren is a classic example of “When no one brings you flowers, go plant your own garden”, or don’t sit down waiting for the world to give you a break! Go out and get it!

Having known and watched Loren Legarda back in college, I can tell you that she’s one workaholic, driven and borderline obsessive-compulsive. She always had her nose on some assignment or project.

I have time and again branded her as overly ambitious for her age, but as I catch myself, and the bias manifested by “old farts”, I find it ironic that we want our children to be driven, ambitious and hardworking. But when somebody else manifests those traits, they’re either a “bitch” or a “political prostitute” even if it’s none of our business. 

We judge them by “OUR” value system and expectations, but completely disregard our bias, and the opposition of the world towards them.

Now I appreciate why our pastors tell us that wisdom is about insight, which leads to understanding and ultimately to application that causes change. I can’t always practice what I preach, but I am certainly sorry for “judging a life I never lived”.