Dulce: A bitter sweet inspiration

By all accounts Dulce Saguisag was a warrior. She fought different battles for different causes, mostly for others. Whether behind or beside him, Dulce worked and fought with her husband Rene. Her last great battle was

against Death itself when she reportedly beat Cancer. Unfortunately it was but a ruse because death would not be denied. Like the biblical thief death came at night and snatched Dulce.

Few of us really know her. She did not attract as much attention as her husband and she did not openly wage her battles. One gets the impression that in life she was like a perfume whose fragrance and celebration of life catch our attention long after the woman has passed. We look back but catch only a glimpse, a hint, and a lot of mystery.  

We mourn to lose one of the few who truly celebrated life. We mourn for our champions – the one taken and the one left behind. We mourn because it is in our nature.

Yet Dulce has caused a stir even after her death. While one marriage is fully consummated, her death has brought back life to others. Her tragedy and her death shocked some marriages long dulled by familiarity back into life. In fact it even rearranged certain priorities.

Yesterday my friend Carina celebrated her birthday. It was, to say the least, extraordinary since she had been celebrating her birthday on November 7 all her life. A turn of events recently brought to light the fact that she was actually born on November 11. That in itself was unique.

What made it extraordinary was the unusual generosity that her husband Butch poured on her for the event. The couple have always been very restrained about personal gifts particularly when it came to jewelry and accessories. But girls will be girls and a girl’s best friend are diamonds, while Louis Vuitton bags come in second.

Carina has always wished for a ROCK! Not just an itsy bitsy sparkler but a full frontal ROCK. Hey if it’s going to be a dream might as well dream big. In the meantime, while her rock had yet to be mined, Carina trained her sights on a particular Louis Vuitton bag.

Please don’t think of her as excessive. She works hard for the money, she scaled the walls like most of us, and she certainly has been as generous as she would have others do likewise.

This year Carina got a full size ROCK as well as her Louis Vuitton bag. The terms shock and awe would not begin to describe her reaction. If you’ve ever seen a game show winner hit the jackpot, that would come close as a description. It was certainly a dream birthday.

After recovering her senses, Carina simply had to know why Butch broke all the rules of restraint and financial planning. Some of us would either think he won the lotto or just discovered some terminal illness! It was certainly unsettling.

Butch had an answer we all need to reflect on. As far as he was concerned this year’s celebration would not be a departure from past events. That was until the tragic death of Dulce Saguisag.

Here was a couple returning home after an enjoyable evening together. In a flash she dies in the accident while Rene Saguisag is treated, not knowing his beloved has died. Suddenly everything changes. Suddenly half of you is gone. Suddenly all the dreams are ended and everything for naught.

What would be the point of saving for another house, expanding the business, while denying your selves certain joys and pleasures? What value is money and property in the absence of someone you love? What was the point in saying no to dreams and wishes if all you would be left with is tragedy and memories?

God has created all things for our enjoyment and not to be burdened or obsessed by them. In death Dulce Saguisag has made an impact on couples who have long needed to rearrange their priorities.

For some inexplicable reason I am reminded of a poem written by Robert Frost: Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sounds the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

*   *  *

Dulce whose name and life represents the sweetness of life has left us a bitter sweet gift. A reminder that we have promises to keep. Promises we made at our wedding, promises made at our children’s baptisms, promises we made to ourselves, and promises we made to God. We have promises to keep but we’ll never know exactly when we go to “sleep”.