What is the kettle so upset about the pot for?

The brouhaha over the now-aborted ZTE national broadband network project was correctly described by Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago as nothing more than a fight over kickbacks. In other words, it was a fight of no moral consequence. Everyone came to the arena with dirty hands.

The same description applies to the furor over gifts of money given to congressmen, and then later to governors and mayors, following a meeting in Malacañang. Both the recipients of the money, and those criticizing them, do not have the moral upperhand in a war waged in the pits.

Just take a look at those who are making a lot of noise about the cash gifts — bishops, mediamen and other politicians. None of the three can measure up to any close moral and ethical scrutiny.

If the circumstances allow these three to make some noise now, it is because of one reason and one reason only: The targets of their criticisms committed the cardinal sin of getting caught with their hands inside the cookie jar.

Look, the Philippines is one of the most corrupt countries in the world. It is a dubious distinction that the country has maintained for a good number of years already, even without it really trying.

And one thing that must be understood in that shameful tag is that it refers to the country as a whole. It does not single out classes or categories. It does not say congressmen only, or governors and mayors who visit Malacañang.

The shameful tag refers to us as a whole, in our propensity to grease our way through the conduct of what ordinarily would have been a routine life. There is hardly any activity, endeavor or initiative in our country that does not involve the application of a little grease.

So dependent on corruption has Philippine daily life become that demands for a little grease no longer need to be made. Most Filipinos have assumed grease to be an integral part of what they do that they fork over automatically if they need something done.

And so long as nobody is greatly inconvenienced, this is the “happy situation”  that keeps the Philippines ticking. When everything is all hunky-dory, it is as if this is what is normal. Unfortunately, every now and then somebody stumbles. Equilibriums are disturbed.

And when equilibriums are disrupted in the Philippines, something very funny happens. Everybody remembers and forgets at the same time. When everybody remembers corruption is bad, they start flogging the red-handed bastards, conveniently forgetting they are just as corrupt.

Bishops? Come on. If you cannot check their bank accounts, check their garages. Mediamen? Check their lifestyles. Other politicians? Don’t bother to check. We all know the score. Some are just good at not getting caught than others.

Cash gifts from Malacañang are neither unheard of nor unusual. They are a given. Let us not play dumb here. Imagine yourself a mayor from some fifth class municipality down in the boondocks whose trip to Manila involves a combination of tricycle, pumpboat, bus and plane rides.

Even if you sincerely love the Palace occupant and would not countenance ignoring an invitation from your president, surely you would expect a little recompense for your effort. Kahit pang Coke na man lang, as they would say.

This is how this country operates. There are people who are seen as useful and important and there are those seen otherwise. Those seen as useful and important will always sit at the table during fiestas while those seen otherwise can sit under the mango tree.

The problem with this country is that we are not only so corrupt, we are also very hypocritical. That is why we never get anywhere, because we paddle away in opposite directions, not knowing that either way, there is only one destination.