Learning a lot about the Cebuano smile

Here's a very interesting email sent to me by Mr. Ricardo Alberto.

"Hi, I'm Rick Alberto, a Filipino expat working in Bangkok as managing editor of Samui Express, a fortnightly newspaper circulated on Samui Island. I came across this column (attached) published in Straits Times, and I thought of sharing it with you. Best Regards, Rick "[email protected]" "Learning from our Asean neighbours By Lydia Lim"

"One thing I have discovered about some of our Asean neighbours is how difficult it is to stay angry with them. I returned this week from Cebu, the Philippines' second largest city, where I had gone with several colleagues to report on the Asean Summit. The arrangements were not always up to scratch, with the summit events spread out between several venues and travel between them often delayed for long stretches by road blocks.

The US$11 million (S$17 million) International Convention Centre had mosquitoes aplenty and toilet doors so flimsy, the locks fell off on the first day of use. Not to mention that the 'official media hotel' where we stayed had rooms that were not soundproof. A bizarre combination of disco music and crowing roosters kept us up at night.

I overheard one American journalist declare in frustration that in terms of logistics, it was 'the worst summit' he had ever covered. And yet, I returned from Cebu with a warm feeling for our hosts. I found that the Cebuanos had this amazing knack of dissolving my irritation with their smiles and unfailing good cheer, so much so that I ended up swallowing my complaints and making the best of the situation.

What they lacked in tip-top infrastructure, they made up for in hospitality, by laying out plenty of good food and hosting great parties. There were three parties in all for the media covering the summit, including one that took place on a sandbar in the middle of the sea. They did all this while shrugging off the international criticisms and massive inconvenience that were the fallout of their own government's decision last month to postpone the summit at the 11th hour.

So this perhaps is the dilemma for Singaporeans when they work with other folk from around the region - whether to be dismayed by any lack of good planning and preparation or awed by their cheerfulness in the face of nasty surprises. If we err too much on the side of the first, we risk getting carried away by our own sense of superiority. This may be why we Singaporeans are often disliked by our Asean neighbours. After a recent article on elitism in the local context, I was surprised to receive an e-mail from an Indonesian who was upset by the elitist attitudes of Singaporeans towards people from virtually every other country in the region. According to him, we are a nation of elitists. While I do not think it is fair to tar all Singaporeans with the same brush, I do think most of us can afford to be more appreciative of the good nature of many of our neighbours when dealing with the vicissitudes of life, whether these come in the form of demanding customers or natural calamities.

In the air-conditioned comfort of our First World home, we have come to expect that everything will always proceed like clockwork. But this means we may have lost much of our ability to respond gracefully to the unexpected. Here I am not talking about Singapore's ability as a nation to deal with disasters or disease outbreaks. We have shown ourselves well able to do so because we are well organised and constantly plan and prepare for the worst. What I mean is that at the individual level, we are apt to be thrown off when things do not go our way. As a Filipino journalist once told me, the Singaporean is lost when things do not go as planned.

But for the Filipino, it is the reverse - he does not know how to react if things actually work as they are meant to. Here is where we can learn from our Asean neighbours because no matter how much time we spend planning, life is bound to dish up the unexpected every now and then. Rather than cocooning ourselves in the belief that we are already streets ahead of everyone else in Asean, we can be more open-minded as we travel around the region.

Only then can we recognise the qualities and strengths of our neighbours which we might do well to learn. This change in attitude will also make for better people-to-people ties as we rid ourselves of the elitism that is such a turn-off to others. In the end, it is these relations between individuals that will lay the best foundation for the Asean community that the 10 governments have agreed to build by 2015. Singapore will be better for it too.

Just think about this - Won't it be great if the next time we host a high-profile international event, our guests have such a good time they willingly overlook any small imperfections in the arrangements? Not to mention how much more pleasant life here would be if we all learnt from our neighbours to smile more, even when the going gets tough."