A victory of sorts for the militants

It says here that there was a coup try a few days ago. The try coup-lapsed!
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I would like to share with you, this blue Monday morning, some punny lines I got from my tocayo Johnny Mercado. These are puns intended.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too."
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Finally, there was the person who sent 20 different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in 10 did.
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Thanks, Tocayo, for helping me fill up my space this morning. Let's have coffee Juan of these days. OK?
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After Press Sec. Ignacio Bunye announced that the president has proclaimed a State of National Emergency, I could hear some leaders of some militant groups yell: "Yes!" For the proclamation was a victory of sorts for them and their comrades-in-harms. At last, their shouting and screaming slogans against President Arroyo as they marched on the street has bore fruit.
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Yes! They lapped it up - the proclamation for a State of National Emergency. It may not look good in the eyes of foreigners and it may lead to the downfall of the economy which has started to rise but, well, that's what these militants want. Since they can't pull down Gloria from her perch in the Palace, they'd be content with just watching the Gloria administration crumble. Never mind the economy.
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Thanks to Charlie Liboron (or Liboton?) for his letter conveying his "friendly and constructive criticism" about The Freeman. We'll keep in mind your suggestions.

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