Diamonds-A-Dozen

So Imelda wants her jewels back. As of yesterday, she had reportedly been planning to throw herself at the mercy of a court, and pray for a temporary restraining order to enjoin the planned international auction sale of her jewels in Geneva and New York.

Now this is what I don't get. Where does she get the nerve to claim that the jewels are really, truly hers? Is her chutzpah being fueled by the fact it's taking so long to present enough evidence to convince a court that the immense wealth the family still has doesn't equate to the income as public official of her late husband, (sorry I can't say 'may he rest in peace') former dictator Ferdinand Marcos? That up to now she's still being feted by sycophants, featured by Tatler, and mobbed by the press? That she's still living a life of luxury, and nobody has the guts to strip all her possessions away from her?

Well, after all, this is the same woman who insisted on wearing a forbidden crown, cleverly hidden in her bouffant hair, in the presence of royalty. Maybe the same defiant attitude to royal protocol is fuelling the audacity to maintain with the straightest of faces (and it's not just cosmetic surgery we have to thank for) that those rubies and diamonds are hers.

Or perhaps, these jewels have sentimental value for her. After all, she couldn't leave them behind when they fled the Palace during the People Power revolution, schlepping them in 42 (or thereabouts) Louis Vuitton suitcases from Manila to Hawaii. If she couldn't bear to part with them then, how could she bear part with them now?

Or, it could also be she's an old woman with nothing to lose, so might as well raise hell before death finally takes her.

If only I had the money, I'd bid in the auction. Imagine, owning a piece of history - something Imelda wore! Like it or not, she's famous, and you get bragging rights if and when you successfully bring home the rocks. It's probably rooted in the very same morbid fascination which drives people to buy memorabilia belonging to dead rock stars, although I can assure you, unlike with dead rock stars, there's none of that corny sentimental association going on. Just pure materialism.

C'mon Imelda. Let the auction proceed. Don't you want to now how much your jewels will fetch? Then you can feed your ego some more, and prove that people really want a piece of you. If this auction happens when you're dead, you'll never know how much they (and you) are valued.

Rumor has it that if she loses the first round, her next strategy is to either directly bid in the auction, or to quietly purchase the jewels from the winning bidders. I don't know what's going to be smarter - if she bids, then it might unleash a bidding war. If she negotiates in private, the chances are great the winning bidders won't entertain her offers. After all, they're holding on to historical pieces that will surely appreciate in value.

Of course, even if they don't entertain her offer, they just might want to be entertained. So they could meet her and get a chance to write in their diaries their encounters with the physically well-preserved Iron Butterfly. (As to whether she's mentally well preserved, you might as well just watch the documentary to judge for yourself).



I'd probably do that too - set an appointment with her to discuss her repurchase of the tiara or the Tiffany necklace, and then just use the time to pump her for personal details and stock myself with anecdotes. I'd note exactly what she wore (the shoes!) and mentally record every little thing she said. What can I say - I'm cruel and opportunistic.

No doubt about it - owning a little piece of Imelda, with a bit of 18K or 4C, would be a grade-A investment. But as to whether we're ever going to see the jewels flung all over the world when culture vultures squabble over them in the great bidding war, is the drama that's going to be played out in the next few months. Meanwhile, you can be sure Imelda's going to be plotting away. Maybe, she'll even add a few more pages to the history books. This mama's not yet a footnote, not by a long shot, so stay tuned.