English as she is spoken by some Asians

I feel great this Blue Monday morning. I think I'll pass this great feeling on to you...to help you start your day in a right mood. And I'll do that by sharing with you this e-mail classic I got from Debbie, our opinion editor, in whose opinion this piece is something to make you smile. So, hokay, les go!

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This will crack you up! You need to read this aloud (for full effect). Just say any unfamiliar words phonetically. It's amazing, but you will understand what "Tenjuberrymud" means by the end of the conversation. This was nominated for best e-mail of 1999.

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Following is a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia. The call was recorded and later published in the Far East Economic Review. Here goes...

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ROOM SERVICE (RS): Morny, ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed Room Service.
RS: Rye...Ruinsorbees ...morny! Dyuwish to odor sunteen?
G: Un... Yes...I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow july den?...pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ow july dee baychem... crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Okay. An san toes?
G: I don't think so.
RS; No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means.
RS: Toes! Toes!...Why djuw don juan toes? Ow bow inglish mopping we bother?
G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying "Toast!" Fine. Yes an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No...just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter...just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy...team...mill?
G: Yes, coffee please and that's all.
RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease bychem, tossy inglish mopping we bother honey sign, and copy...rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tenjuberrymud.
G: You're welcome.

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To Debbie, I say tenjuberrymud for passing on this piece to me. Reminds me of Jane Zumel who used to write a column here in a language nearly similar to that of the hotel's room service.