In Ming’s garden

Away from the madding obsession with wiretapped lapses, a group of scholarly Phi Kappa Phis and friends sat enthralled listening to Ming Ramos talk about love, life, hard work, badminton and gardening. Venue was Ming’s Restaurant and Coffee Shop in Tagaytay. She was the same First Lady we knew when she was in Malacanang – a refreshingly candid, funny, down-to-earth, engaging storyteller.

She recalled how she donned the job of First Lady from scratch. She had enjoyed being a director of the government-owned Manila Hotel, which set up a hotel in Beijing, but her husband, President Fidel V. Ramos, told her to give that up to avoid conflict of interest. She didn’t have to give up being a testing officer at International School; she has worked there for 50 years, and continues to serve there as a consultant.

After 10 years at IS, she went to school. As testing counselor, she had to deal with students, so she took up psychology at the Ateneo. "I’m happy I took psychology. I learned Filipino values – utang na loob, amor propio, for example. In other countries diretsahan when they talk, but here you have to go around the bush. Foreigners open gifts in front of the givers, but not here because they might not like what you give them."

People bringing up matters not related to IS had to wait till after office hours to see her. She is quite strict about mixing non-related matters as she is about being on time for meetings. "One time a meeting was set up at 5, and people came at 7."

"I wanted to help my husband," she said. She set her eyes on cleaning and greening the Pasig River. "I thought it was only a matter of cleaning the river." But it turned out squatters along the river banks had to be removed. Together with environmentalists and local executives, like Manila City Mayor Alfredo Lim, and the Danish government, the river lost some of its smell and the water had turned a little light brown.

"We had a tough time in Makati. But we taught people waste management, and what to do with the bottles – they can sell them. You know Filipinos, if they will earn, they will work." She is not out to belittle Filipinos, but she wishes they followed rules, like the Singaporeans, and that’s because the government fines violators (e.g. for sticking chewing gums anywhere) and executes drug-dealers. "I feel we should have an iron hand," she said, and quickly added, "but my husband will not impose martial law."

Her education has been a long, sometimes hands-on journey. She and a certain Fidel Ramos were classmates at the UP High School, but when World War II broke out, they went to separate schools. She went to Boston University for her bachelors in physical education, and to UCLA in Los Angeles for her masters in the same course. She and Fidel met again in Washington. He was enrolled as a cadet at West Point in Virginia and soon after their return to the Philippines, they got married. They have five daughters.

Being the wife of a military man, she had lessons to learn. One, "If the wife of the commanding officer is obnoxious, you have to be nice to her, otherwise her husband will send your husband to Tawi-Tawi."

"We have to learn to adjust." If you are married to an army officer, you have him at home for three years, and then he is out in the field for three years. "When he is around, you take care of the menu and clean the house, and when he is away for three years, you prepare sandwiches for the kids, and you are free. If you have a car you can go around. You have to learn to be independent."

She had been hardworking even as a child reared by one of the country’s first suffragists and social workers, Josefa Jara Martinez. "I can cook, wash dishes, and clean the bathroom. When I was in the US I did my laundry. I did my own laundry even when I was First Lady. When my husband was not around, I could hang my clothes in the bathroom."

She is chair of numerous foundations which think just dropping her name creates miracles. Sometimes that works, but not always. Members of the Tagaytay City Advisory Council of which she is chair and which helps in the development of the southern tourist attraction, have not been successful in convincing the mayor to remove the squatters who have built houses on top of a water source.

The Phi Kappa Phis were enthralled listening to this woman who decided, "to stay in the background" when her husband was President. They included the president of PKP Chapter 045, Natalia M.L.M. Morales; the chair of PKPP Foundation, Augusto L. de Leon, and the indefatigable, brilliant scientist Nelia Gonzales. Natalia said the lunch meeting was part of a Search for Excellence lecture series.

The restaurant, located along the Sta. Rosa highway leading to Tagaytay, is a lovely structure serving good food (the restaurant is operated by Ming’s cousin). And the toilets are first class. "My husband sells the restaurant by advertising our comfort rooms," said Ming. Ornamental plants and flowers are sold in the greenhouses, and across the street is another Ramos property where Ming has a field day raising plants of her heart’s desire: orchids, bromeliads, vegetables and fruit trees. A new addition to her repertoire of plants are culinary herbs from Domini’s Farm.

"Anybody can do anything if they put their mind to it," is her running philosophy. Ming’s Garden grounds used to be planted to pineapple and coffee, but it takes one-and-a-half years for pineapples to fruit. "I put up a greenhouse instead." Because she still finds time to plant, she can’t have manicured fingernails. She hardly has time for hobbies like sewing, knitting and swimming, but she finds time for badminton (she’s president of the Philippine Badminton Association).

She talked about her music – she plays the piano, organ, marimba and vibraphone and her musical band (which counted the late Raul Manglapus as a member), which played in Asian countries and the US. She said that Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir, whose family had become close to the Ramoses, was asked to sing, and he said he did not know how to begin, and Ming said, "Don’t worry, my husband does not know how to end." Then she covered her mouth when she told yesterday’s guests, "Decentunado ’yan." (He sings out of tune.)

She praised hair designer Ricky Reyes for his concern for the poor, including supporting cancer victims at the Philippine General Hospital, and organizing the Suklay at Gunting livelihood project for women in depressed areas.

She said she had shown First Gentleman Mike Arroyo around Smokey Mountain and other projects that he could pick up. But Mike chose other worthy projects, like free dental and medical services for indigent patients at the PGH.

As to why Mike should leave his wife, beleaguered as she is, and go on self-exile, Ming said, "Maybe he’s tired of being attacked" by critics. "I told my husband I’m glad we were not attacked (the way the Arroyos are being attacked) these days."

"There’s one woman – the nemesis of my husband. She refuses to talk to me." (She was obviously referring to Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago who lost to President Ramos in the election before Estrada.)

The media, she said, should help put the country in a better light. She said she tends not to read newspapers on her way to work, because most of the stories that come out are negative. "Minsan masyado ang tsismis."

Like when Jaime Cardinal Santos was dying, her husband was at his bedside, but when he died, her husband was abroad, and the media was asking, "Why is he not there?"

And the media was saying Samuel Ong, former NBI deputy director, was hiding in the Ramoses’ house in Alabang. "No, he was not, and he is not, in her house," Ming said. Then the media was asking, why is the Ramos house very dark? "Not because Ong was there, because I was alone in the house." The media should be more responsible, said Ming. (Oops.)

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