Everything for the best

Today and every tenth day of March of every year is a very special day for those whose lives had been touched by a lady named Joyce. Joyce was our dearly beloved and only daughter, the loving and caring sister to our five sons. Two years ago we deeply grieved her death at the prime age of 38 years after a long bout with cancer and a lingering and painful illness. Losing a loved one is always an extremely heartbreaking experience. Yet in the hour of our bereavement over her death, the tears of sorrow we shed were mixed with tears of joy. Our moments of bereavement were interchanged with moments of bewilderment as we alternately heard and read words of condolences and congratulations. The joyful greetings seemed unusual in the midst of our grief although they helped ease the pain as we absorbed the message conveyed that we didn’t lose her, but in spirit and in truth, we gained an intercessor personally and continuously praying for us left behind in this world. Her Mommy’s words when she was still alive that she was our "one woman prayer department" immediately came to mind only after she had transferred "upstairs."

A few months before her death, when she was already very ill, the sight of her in a wheelchair still exerting so much effort to take care of me after my quadruple heart by-pass was one touching scene that is now forever etched in my heart. Ria Marifosque, her Opus Dei co-numerary who was with her when she breathed her last, wrote me later on that: "the most important lesson I learned, from seeing you and Joyce together was to love my father as I have seen Joyce love hers". Indeed even after her death, she seemed to be still around taking care of me, telling me what food to eat and what to avoid (she was a nutritionist-dietician), reminding me to put order in my life, to have a "plan of life" and "to do everything well" each day. And so it was and still is with her mommy and her brothers and their families. The marked improvements in all our lives, spiritually, physically and materially since her death two years ago, show that she continues praying for us and helping us, from the most difficult problems in life to simplest ones like just looking for a parking space. More than anything else, they confirm the validity of the reasons for the "congratulations" we received when she died two years ago.

Joyce joined Opus Dei when she was only 18 years old, on August 6, 1982. She had spent more of her life in total dedication to God’s Work, serving God and others "in the midst of the most material things of the earth", carrying out her day to day task with joy and simplicity. Yet we know she loved and was truly proud of her family. The Foundation for Professional Training, Inc., an Opus Dei organization, for women-in-development education where Joyce worked, informed us that when she was in Rome in 1994, she addressed a crowd of women from diverse cultures and "expounded briefly and clearly how one’s personal upbringing and experien-ces in family life can inflame and should shape one’s attitude in the workplace particularly in the so called service industry that includes professions in the hotel and restaurant services, hospitals and dormitories and other similar institutions". Admittedly, we learned more fully of her life in "The Work" only after her death from her many friends. Nini Veloso wrote that, "she is one of our Lord’s most beautiful daughters — inside and out. She was to me a very good ‘teacher’ as it was not only her words but her example that made me see the goodness in her. Up to this day I recall the many instances when she went beyond pain and sadness, and instead focused on her love for our Lord and our Lady

and her vocation

and her family

and all of us around her.

I can’t help but be inspired and pray that her virtues will guide us in our own pathways in this life. One of her most special virtues is that of being cheerful. Her smile would just glow. Lalaine Aresa, the directress of Punlaan, recalled that "the sickness of Joyce was no impediment for her to work a lot and work well. Despite pain and discomfort she spearheaded other projects like the renovation of the Shrine of our Mother of Fair Love in Tagaytay. She encouraged people to work and make their lives useful, convince that to really serve God, we have to do so wherever we are, no matter what condition we may find ourselves in. Thus when the more debilitating toll of her illness came, she continued with the spirit of living her life fruitfully by offering her painful hours in bed to God, cheering those who came to visit her".

And from Joyce herself, this was what she wrote to a friend when she was already sick:

"I am still functional and am at peace with all I have gone through. Opus Dei had taught me to take everything as coming from God’s hands. Our Founder has this aspiration which helps me a lot: Omnia in bonum (Everything is for the best)."

There are many others who shared with us their beautiful and memorable experien-ces with Joyce. All of them make this second anniversary of her death and many other anniversaries hereafter, occasions to remember and celebrate. As Joyce’s best friend, Maribel Quejada-Baylon wrote us all the way from the US, today we are two years closer to the day when we would once more embrace Joyce in eternity.

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