Remembering a daughter, celebrating love

This is written for all the fathers and their daughters who are still together in this world.

One year ago today at about fifteen minutes before two o’clock in the afternoon, our dearly beloved and only daughter Joyce, the oldest, loving and caring sister to her five brothers, after hanging on to life–but not afraid of death–finally ended her short but meaningful and fruitful earthly sojourn and moved to the bigger House of the Lord in heaven. One year after her death, I still find myself in tears during many moments when my wife Josie and I seem to feel her presence as we remember, or learn for the first time from her fellow members in the Opus Dei, precious bits and pieces of her life.

In her short life span of almost thirty nine years, our family enjoyed her company only during the first eighteen years as she decided to devote the rest of her almost 21 years in the service of the Lord. But the strong father-daughter bond formed during that period she spent with us made it most difficult for me to let her go and join a bigger family of the Lord’s handmaidens. All fathers perhaps who have an only daughter would feel the same. They would naturally resist letting go of "daddy’s girl" whom they used to carry in their arms so lovingly and protectively, forgetting or even willfully ignoring how great and glorious it is to be blessed with such daughters who chose to devote their entire life in the service of God.

After she joined Opus Dei, events became so precious few and far between when we could be together. But they were enough to fill my storage of happy memories of her. In Cebu, Makiling Laguna, or any centers of her assignment, when we saw her on special occasions like the Christmas holidays and milestones in the life of St. Josemaria, that father-daughter bond simply grew stronger. The most memorable yet was our spiritual journey to Rome together with her mommy for the beatification of St. Josemaria. That will be forever etched in my mind and heart as most spiritually edifying and life changing experience. These and many more memorable events not only cemented the bond but also made us realize how happy she was in her work. We felt her joy and we became closer even when we are far apart. We felt her support wherever she was, through her prayers and sometimes through her active participation in my endeavors like when I tried to penetrate the dirty life of politics.

News of her cancerous ailment was therefore so heartbreaking and devastating. But her illness, which she called God’s "divine caress", became the source of so many more awakenings on a daughter’s love for her father which was reciprocated rather belatedly and thus, inadequately. Trying to make up for lost time, I made an effort to visit her almost daily especially when she was transferred to Manila centers, in "Pandan" and"Punlaan". Those few moments with her almost everyday enabled me to understand the meaning of Christian love more deeply and taught me lessons on sufferings in life by "rejoicing in hope, being patient in tribulation and persevering in prayer". She made me realize that the greatest suffering of sick people is to see their loved ones suffer because of their own suffering. Thus without any words uttered, I got her message to "please change your tears for Joyce to tears of joy". And tears of joy indeed profusely flowed when five months before her death as I lay in a hospital bed for a heart by-pass operation, she stayed with me and Josie, helped in taking care of me, even in her wheel chair. The sight of her would have melted the hardest of heart of any father.

My joy in the midst of so much suffering became complete when Ria, one of her associates in the Work, told me that the most important lesson she learned from seeing me and Joyce together was to love her father as " I have seen Joyce loved hers".

Even in her illness she saw life as a great adventure, accepting every moment as God’s precious gift which should never be wasted, said another associate. I felt that she wanted so much to be with Mother Mary and her beloved Son already, but I saw her clinging to life to give more of herself before she goes. She never wanted to be a burden to anybody even in her helplessness, always saying thank you to those who took care of her. She showed that sufferings can be accepted with serenity and joy by forgetting herself and thinking of her visitors. Her prayers for others must have been truly powerful as we receive and hear so many accounts of how they asked Joyce to pray for their intentions, and they were granted.

And so today, we remember a good and loving daughter who we believe is already in the company of Angels and Saints in heaven. We remember her not with tears of sadness but with tears of joy for truly we are celebrating love, pure and fair.

* * *

E-mail: [email protected]