The positive approach!

This came to me from a Filipina nun, who is blind. She went blind at the age of six. Her family was destitute. But she worked her way through Grade School, High School, College, and a Master’s Degree in Social Work, by scholarships! She always wanted to be a nun. She applied to eight different Congregations of Sisters in the Philippines, but none of them would accept her, because she was blind. Finally she got to the United States, almost by accident. There she applied to the Teaching Sisters of Notre Dame, who accepted her with open arms. Since then she has been doing magnificent work with the Sisters. She teaches not only the blind, but all those who are handicapped. The courage of this wife and mother touched her so deeply that she enclosed her article in the Christmas card that she sent to her relatives and friends.

"It’s just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our Christmas tree for the past ten years.

"It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas – oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it – overspending. . . . the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma – the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else.

"Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike.

"The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was twelve that year, was wrestling at the junior level of the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city, mostly black. These youngsters, wearing sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their blue and gold uniforms and new wrestling shoes.

"As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat.

"Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly. ‘I wish just one of them could have won,’ he said. ‘They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.’ Mike loved kids – all kids – and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse.

"That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner city church.

"On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done, and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas. I followed the tradition – one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas.

"The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their Dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to move practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure.

"The story doesn’t end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their Dad.

"The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation, watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

"May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the season, and the true Christmas spirit – this year and always."

* * *

This courageous wife and mother took a very positive approach to her husband’s hatred of Christmas time. Archbishop Sean Patrick O’Malley, OFM Cap, when he was installed as the new Archbishop of Boston, also took a strong, cheerful, positive approach. Among many other beautiful things, he said:

"Though we are living in a sad chapter of the Church’s history, we must remember that it is a chapter – not the whole book.

"The Catholic Church in the United States has made invaluable contributions to the spiritual and material wellbeing of our country. As Catholics, we have so much to be thankful for, so much to be proud of. As Catholics, we must be proud of the fact that we have educated millions upon millions of Americans in our schools, giving countless children from immigrant and working-class families an excellent education. 20% of the hospitals in our country are run by the Church. The largest social service agencies and relief organizations in the land are those of the Catholic Church.

"Once the Archbishop of New York received an intercom call from a new receptionist working in the chancery. She said: ‘Your Eminence, there is a man in the lobby who says he is Jesus Christ. What should I do?’ The Archbishop replied: ‘Look busy!’ Although the Archbishop’s words merit a chuckle, on another level they are dead serious. The homeless schizophrenic, who says he is Jesus Christ, is Jesus Christ ‘in a distressing disguise’, as Mother Teresa used to say.

"Jesus is present to us in the least of our brothers and sisters. He is with us in the hungry, the poor, the Alzheimer’s patient, the unborn, and the homeless person with AIDS, all of whom have a claim in our love.

"No matter how small the unborn, no matter how debilitated and unproductive the aged and the infirm, we must take care of each other. No one is expendable. Each and every person counts in God’s sight.

"When I was a young priest at the Centro Catolico in Washington, a Salvadoran refugee came to my office, weeping. He handed me a letter to read. It was from his wife, berating him for having abandoned her and their eight children. He had come to Washington as the wars raged in his country. He came to send money back to his family. After several months, his wife had not received any of the money he had been sending home, and his family was suffering from hunger and want.

"He told me how he washed dishes in two restaurants, ate the scraps of food from the dirty dishes rather than spend money on food, and walked to work rather than spend money on bus fare.

He sent all his earnings to his family each week. I asked if he sent checks or money orders. He said: ‘I put cash in the envelope and drop it into the blue mail box on the corner.’ I looked out the window and saw that blue mail box —a spiffy trash bin, part of the District of Columbia’s beautification project.

"It brought home to me how hard the lot of immigrants is in a strange land. Not knowing the language and customs can cause such a sense of disorientation and alienation. In the case of the man from El Salvador, his toil was not really futile, because it betokened love and selflessness that bound him to his wife and children. But too often people’s quest for success in our culture is misguided — to have lots of money, be good looking and thin, and to be popular. It is not enough. If this is the measuring stick for success – the lock box is just another blue trash bin.

"On Calvary there were but few people, because it takes courage to stand by the Cross. From the Cross Jesus gave us his mother: ‘Behold your Mother!’ We Catholics all have a tender love for Our Lady. With her help we will be faithful disciples, and we shall be sure: that those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing."

How similar are the minds of the wife and the Archbishop! She reached out to the poor. He sees Christ Our Lord in the poor. Both have a positive approach to love, and to God.