Strange and quite erratic behavior

There are two ways of looking at the weird noises emanating from President Macapagal-Arroyo’s Ambassador to the Court of St. James. In plain English, this refers to our envoy to London, Ambassador Edgardo Espiritu.

Espiritu has, during the past few days, been trumpeting that businessmen prefer his buddy, Senator Noli "Magandang Gabi, Bayan" de Castro, for President. What Ed said is that businessmen have been urging him to help persuade De Castro to run for the presidency, and that the perception is that Noli is "the only one who can beat FPJ". Sanamagan. Don’t you think Espiritu is not just out of whack here, but even worse, out of line? If only Noli can beat FPJ, doesn’t this mean that it’s already presumed President GMA is on the losing end? Even if he were merely "quoting" some unnamed businessmen, Espiritu has no business making such weird announcements from thousands of miles away.

An Ambassador is the direct representative of the President to the foreign country to which he is assigned. In short, Espiritu is GMA’s representative. (Why, then, is he touting for De Castro as a potential rival of his Boss, the President? Or hinting that another contestant, Fernando Poe Jr. (alias Ronnie Allan Poe) is the front-runner, unless knocked down by Bayan Noli, who’s not even posted his bid? What Ed’s doing so blatantly is rank disloyalty to GMA.

It would already be deplorable if Espiritu were a career Ambassador. Diplomats, particularly Ambassadors, are barred from engaging in politics. It becomes even more disgusting when it’s clear he is a political ambassador, personally handpicked by GMA out of the clear blue sky (after he savaged Erap during the impeachment trial in the Senate). Espiritu was so eager to assume his current post in London, and go by carriage to Buck House to present his credentials to the Queen, that he arrived in London almost a month ahead of schedule, deposing his immediate predecessor Ambassador Cesar Bautista before the nonplussed exiting envoy had a chance to say his official goodbyes.

Now what’s this stuff he’s mouthing about De Castro as a potential next President, edging out GMA, his Liege Lady, from the Queenship of Malacañang Palace? Oyé, Varlet, Queen Elizabeth Regina the First, the occasionally virgin queen, might have cried out in fury: "Get thee to the Tower of London!" Then Queen Bess would have summoned the Royal Executioner.

What is interesting is that GMA is taking the matter very nonchalantly, zipping off to Tokyo, then to Bahrain, without so much as unleashing a thunderbolt from the Palace, or throwing a cellphone at the insubordinate Espiritu. Is it possible that, contrary to appearances, Espiritu is actually performing a "mission" for Her Majesty? Everybody knows that Ed and Noli are best friends – who better than to dispatch to encourage . . . uh, seduce, Noli into running for President, thus dividing not merely the FPJ but also the Panfilo Lacson constituency? Then, GMA would streak to the finish line, leaving the other contender, another casualty of the politics of division, Raul Roco, eating her dust.

As the wags would quip, GMA would obviously have the upper hand, with the help of God and Santo Espiritu, not to mention the Comelec.

Perhaps we’re too enamored of conspiracy theories. However, in this land of magic, there are too many conspiracies to ignore – most of them against the Filipino people. Ay pobre Filipinas! A country rendered almost beyond salvation, by the elbowing, gouging, and back-stabbing tactics of those who are stampeding for the exclusive franchise to "save" it.

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By acting mysterious and elusive, FPJ has been garnering the sort of widespread publicity so coveted by the propagandists of the other candidates. By saying almost nothing, he leaves everyone waiting breathlessly (or in utter boredom) for The Sphinx to become Ang Panday, or, better, Ang Galing. In any event, the fact that Poe is being mobbed by admirers, worse by idolaters, everywhere he pops up, is terrifying. The adoration of Poe by so many is so downright irrational that it defies debate.

Anyway, The Sphinx showed up briefly at a forum being conducted by activist groups against globalization and the bullying of the World Trade Organization (WTO), and spoke a few words, then waltzed off without really speaking at the forum. At least he acquired an additional title, when they dubbed him Ka Ronnie. It was left for the forum’s leaders, including a spokesman of the farmers, to interpret FPJ’s message. He declared in an interview that Poe was "against globalization and trade liberalization" and understood "the need to make agriculture the foundation of our country’s economy". Who can disagree with such down-home statements, if he really made them?

Everyone, in truth, is still waiting for FPJ to speak at proper length and explain his program (after he talks, of course, to Ping, to decide who between the two of them will Pong for the presidency). So the public will just have to be patient.

When he visited me at home to explain that FPJ is very literate, and not the dumb cluck he’s pictured to be by his detractors, Edong Angara pointed out that in Ronnie’s home in Antipolo, the shelves are lined with many books – hundreds of them. Yes, I inquired jestingly, "but has he read them?"

All kidding aside, FPJ will shortly have to demonstrate to the unbelievers that he’s made of the right stuff. To millions of "believers", on the other hand, Panday doesn’t have to demonstrate or prove anything. He’s The Man. He’s their hero. He represents Everyman, meaning them, the trod-upon, the scorned and the oppressed. And, they believe, he’s going to fight for them. The well-educated have ruled the roost for so long, some insist, we’re worse off than ever before.

As one of my former professors, the brilliant Jesuit, Father Jaime Bulatao, S.J., said to us at our recent class reunion in Cesar Concio’s home, a prayer rally to honor our classmate, Jose "Totoy" Avellana: "FPJ doesn’t have to say anything. All he has to do is get on his horse, start galloping, and wave at the people."

Why do you think FPJ is our man of destiny? We asked Father Jim.

"Because," he replied with a twinkle in his eye, "he comes from my hometown of San Carlos, Pangasinan!"

What so many in the upper brackets of our society and in our educated classes fear is that people may vote for FPJ and refuse to explain their vote as lucidly as Father Bulatao did.

As for GMA, she’s travelling the world, with the expression on her face: "What? Me worry?"