Breaking a ‘culture of silence’

Everywhere you went during the past few days the topic was entertainment celebrity and presidential daughter Kris Aquino’s revelation that she was a battered woman – battered by Parañaque City Mayor Joey Marquez. Kris’s story was met with mixed reactions – one, of incredulity (was her televised tearjerker confession a showbiz gimmick?), another, of dismay that she would hang her dirty linen in public, and still another, one of appreciation over her courage to break the "culture of silence" that has long engulfed women who have suffered their being physically and emotionally abused by men with whom they have intimate relationships.

Gabriela Women’s Party spokesperson Cristina Palabay quickly came out with a praise statement, saying, "Kris has broken the Filipino women’s culture of silence. We admire her courage and we hope more women will learn to fight back against their abusers. Every woman who has been violated or abused must defend her person and her dignity, and breaking the silence is a crucial first step."

I do admire Kris’s breaking away from the clutches of a depressing relationship. But in my heart of hearts I pray that she breaks that "battered wife syndrome", which is that abused women tend to go back to their abusers after some time – at the sound of their penitent voices and promises to be loving and gentle and every good thing from now and evermore (which they break once the women’s bruises have healed), tears."

* * *

It was only natural that popular TV anchor man and The Philippine STAR columnist Boy Abunda would be bombarded with questions about the issue of privacy in the Kris Aquino-Joey Marquez affair during the 11th National Public Relations Congress held by the Public Relations Society last week. Was it right for media to go gaga over the scandal? It seems some among the delegates wanted to chastise media for playing up the scandal. But Boy, who is the closest confidante of Kris, said in essence that public figures – including movie celebrities and politicians – cannot complain of invasion of their privacy because by opting for public lives, their private lives are laid open to scrutiny.

* * *

Boy’s candid disclosures of showbiz tears and megalomania added to the success of the PRSP congress, whose theme was, "Building Relationships for Better World". Jones T. Campos, congress chair, elaborated on the theme by saying that during the past couple of years, media and public relations practitioners have been "living witness(es) to local and international turmoil all because of strained relationships. He said, though, that PR persons, more than being communicators creating awareness and mutual understanding are tasked to "pro-active with regard to social responsibility, especially nowadays when poverty alleviation, socio-economic amelioration or sustainable development initiatives have become corporate concerns."

The keynote speaker, Jesus P. Estanislao of the Institute of Solidarity in Asia, spoke about tying up freedom and responsibility as "the way to pulling and integrating our people together, making our nation united and our country whole at last!"

"But precisely because we are open to others, we have the duty of dealing with them fairly," he said. "To be fair towards others, we need also to be transparent and accountable. In other words, we each have to take care of applying fairness, transparency and accountability, the principles of good governance to ourselves as individuals. Isn’t this why we have the responsibility to have personal integrity? In other words, we do have to keep ourselves whole, as individuals whose words and deeds, and whose principles and life are fully consistent with each others!"

Another lecturer, Dante M. Velasco of Creative Points International, made a persuasive distinction between "agency" work and "professional practice". In his much-applauded presentation, he stressed that PR has a social value as a profession, in that it ultimately promotes "harmony".

But how does one explain disputes and debates on issues in what translate into a media war? Velasco had a ready answer: "Each party, while suing for peace, demonstrates capacity to establish a strong case for his/her position. After counting the costs, either or both parties sue for settlement. And the dispute ends with a handshake."

With productive years in PR practice, he brought the house down, according to PRSP President Winnie Marbella, for his "22 Laws of Successful PR Practice," marked by "wit and substance".

* * *

E-mail: domini[email protected]